XXXI: Approach

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A path towards something; the descent of an aircraft towards the plane where it intends to land.

* * *

The sound of church bells wakes me back to my dreamscape. The tell-tale of different tunes in a beautiful symphony is way much a beautiful alarm than the one I have from the real world. And in doing so, I sigh and stretch my limbs as I slowly open my eyes, rubbing then the sleep from them. Whatever day it is right here now, as usual, I don't know of; but at this hour of the day, just a few minutes before sunrise based on the open capiz windows, a course of giddy happiness flows through my system. Especially upon seeing César myself, upon waking up in this dreamscape once again.

Even if he has his back at me right now, I definitely know that it is him. Not because there is no chance that I'll be with anyone else in this dreamscape; but having seen César in all aspects, even with the marks in this dream's memory bank, there is no doubt that I've definitely memorized every map of his skin and that all of him.

That's why I also know how tense he is right now. The muscles on his back are rigid, visibly showing his lean figure and broad shoulders. And the way that he didn't seem to move for a moment, holding to his cigarette stick absentmindedly, and staring at the view outside as the church bells continue ringing... all of it denote to a certain implication. He seems to be waiting. Waiting for something that is to happen, or for the church bells to mean something at all.

The smile disappears from my face, recognizing that this is definitely not the first time and not wanting to believe that something that sounds so heavenly will have a different meaning altogether. I gulp in hard, slowly push myself up the bed as I draw the blankets against my frame, and move closer behind him to surround my arms around him. I feel him flinch when my fingers touch his warm skin, and when my lips press against his shoulder, before assuring him. "It's Sunday today. At kaya may tunog ng kampana ay para sa misa ngayong umaga. Kristong Hari na sa susunod na linggo, tapos advent na, tapos Pasko na. Pero bago mag-Pasko..."

He finally scoffs, smiling a little before taking a puff of smoke and flicks the ashes off the other end of the stick on the nearby ashtray. "We're to be married first," he states and then looks back at me. "Good morning, (Y/N)."

"Good morning, César." I lightly kiss him on the corner of his lips, chuckling a little. "Kaya... 'wag ka na masyadong ma-istress. Baka pumuti kaagad lahat ng buhok mo."

He grins at my cockiness. "Kung ganoon, baka mas mauna pa talaga pumuti ang buhok mo dahil mas na-iistress ka nga sa akin eh."

"Ayos lang naman sa akin na ma-istress kung tungkol sa iyo. Kahit naman wala kang gawin ma-iistress at ma-iistress ako sa iyo. Pero ikaw..." I press my hands against his shoulders to massage his tensed muscles, hoping to alleviate whatever still existent fear he has right now. "It's just a church bell to signal the morning mass and nothing more."

César's smile slowly becomes a sad one as he buries the butt of the cigarette stick on the ashtray. "They say that in Britain, during wars, churches do not ring their bells. Until it is meant to be a signal."

I turn quiet for a moment, as if my ears become attuned for whatever he had been waiting for earlier. I wait for another sound, different from that of the church bells, some familiar engines bursting into life overhead... and thankfully, there hadn't been any. The church bells don't mean anything but just the usual call for worship. And so, I tell him, "Not for now. Tinatawag lang tayo para magsimba."

He slowly relaxes, leaning back his head as he overlaps his hands against mine and gives mine a light squeeze. He sighs heavily as he stares at the ceiling, and says, "Para namang tinatawag tayo na magpakasal na."

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