Artificial Horizon - A César Fernando Basa x Reader story

Bonus Chapter - Line of Position (César's POV)

What is really going on inside César's mind at that moment?  Here's an eleven-page version of Chapter 20: Line of Position from where it was left of as narrated by César.

A/N: Again, like from the previous bonus chapter, it is still not as explicit as you might be expecting, but this is much more in details that if you'll be squinting much more, you'll certainly say that this version of his is quite much more something than the said chapter or even the extended version itself!

* * *

Taking the load of a three-days suspension is a huge blow. It is definitely one thing to be furious about. But another thing makes me see that it is not just a reflection for me to understand what I did wrong; but to also view its context to how it affects the things—the people—that truly matters.

It is easy to be selfish and live in the delusion that everyone else will understand. That the very people I care most in the world will understand and support me with my decisions, even in the matter of life and death. But, as I define it, it is really easy to call it everything as selfish... then of idiocy and carelessness.

As a pilot, hours of flying already makes me ready of every possible outcome. It is a career not for anyone wishing to have a fruitful life in the future. It is for adventurers, those who want to tease and defy death every single time for the thrill, and those who have nothing to lose.

I remember what Mama told me when I said that I want to be a pilot. She said, "I don't want my son to die young."

But then, I'll look up. I often find myself staring at the sky. They say that I must keep my eyes on the ground. Why? Because it gives me ideas.

It is hard to be selfless. But I'll definitely do anything just for the happiness of the people I love. Definitely anything for her.

"I was never the one you ever most loved," she harshly states. She regards me once more, her face now blank and devoid of emotion. "Hindi mo kailangan magpaliwanag sa akin tungkol doon. Naiintindihan ko iyon, César. Hindi naman ako tanga. I am not naive enough to not realize when I am not wanted."

I hate how closed off she can be within a matter of seconds. I hate how she can cut everything I love about her, out of her words and face. Because it feels like I am speaking to a stranger.

And those words of hers sting like nothing I had felt before.

I am somehow glad that she is already turning away when she said that last statement. That she didn't see the flinch that flicker across my face. I am in such a point of whether to let her be... or, for once, be selfish.

There is another path of a pilot's selfishness than that of that thirst for flight. The selfishness of wanting, that after dancing with death, we will still make it back alive—walk out of such landing and play another melody for the next appointment.

So... why are we then making a bet with death when we're scared of dying? To make us feel more alive.

My decision is clear, no matter how selfish it is of me, and instantly I am chasing after her. I reach her, grab her shoulder and turn her around to take her jaw and kiss her, pressing her back against the wall.

I can feel her body instantly responding, flowering with a tug of desire and a hint of surprise. I've been assured of it when she presses herself against my body as her fingers grasps my uniform as I kiss her urgently. She gasps for air in between the searing kisses. And when my teeth catch her lower lip, the sweetest sound I ever heard in my life departs her stinging lips.