Empty Spaces

Chapter 19

- Harry -

When he opened his eyes, it took a moment to remember where he was and why. The unfamiliar bed, the blanket, the room... the sleeping figure at his side...

Well. Now what?

Now... now I guess we go to school. Harry rolled out of bed, grabbed his stuff, and headed over to the bathroom. He was in the middle of showering when he noticed he wasn't alone.

"What the hell, Malfoy, feel free to knock or something!?"

"You left the door open. And it's my flat, Potter, I can use my own bathroom if I want."

"Not while I'm using it, idiot!"

"You're using the shower," Malfoy said through a mouthful of toothpaste, "I'm using the sink. Don't get all flustered, Potter, I'm not looking."

Harry didn't know what irritated him more, the fact that Malfoy was in the bathroom or the fact that Harry was now stuck wondering whether Malfoy would like what he saw if he was looking. He settled for finishing his shower, grateful that he'd had the sense to hang his towel within reach.

"All yours," he sidestepped Malfoy and went back out in the bedroom to find his clothes. "Feeling any better?" he called over his shoulder, pulling on a pair of jeans.

"What's it to you?" Malfoy deferred wearily while Harry rolled his eyes.

"So that's a no, then," Harry replied.

"Does it matter?" Malfoy retorted, unable to hide the desperation in his tone. Harry could hear the shower running, and made a conscious effort to push the image from his mind. Not now, idiot.

"Yea, I would say it does," Harry called over the running water.

"It's fine," Malfoy said finally in the sort of tone that made Harry know the conversation was over, at least for now. Harry was reminded a bit of Hermione– she and Malfoy were both so methodical in their thinking, except that he'd never felt like this while she was in the shower... Not now, idiot. They both finished getting ready in silence, unsaid words hanging in the empty space between them.

"You up for a coffee or something?" Harry offered finally when Malfoy emerged from the bathroom, dressed and looking worlds better than yesterday, at least on the outside.

"Yea, sure," Malfoy replied, grabbing his school bag and opening the door, ushering Harry outside into the hall. They walked to the coffee shop in silence, Harry wondering what on earth Malfoy's boyfriend had done to elicit this sort of response– Malfoy was the type of person who would rather die than be seen at his lowest point, and Harry had certainly seen an extremely low point yesterday. Figuring it best not to push too far, Harry kept his questions to himself and all too soon, they were approaching the school gates facing a new sort of awkward: Do we go to Transfiguration together or...?

But then Ron and Ginny showed up in the hall, pulling Harry aside and asking whether he'd be willing to do a training session with the new Gryffindor seeker– "He's really good and all, but, you know, he's not you," Ginny was saying, and Ron followed up with something along the lines of "It'll be good for you to hang out with the team, if you hate it, we won't ask you to do it again, but if you don't try you'll never know, right?" and by the time Harry managed to say yes while still making clear that this was to be a one-time event, Malfoy was gone.

Ron and Ginny kept Harry busy for most of the day, talking Quidditch strategy and catching him up on George's latest merchandise and asking if he knew what he was doing for the holidays yet. It was almost like old times– when Harry had a purpose in life, plans, and a future. Except it wasn't. Harry was torn throughout the day between wanting to spend time with them but also wanting to make sure Malfoy was okay, and then having to come up with excuses when Ron asked if he was alright because he seemed distracted. By the time Charms let out that afternoon, he was so done with life and people that he had to force himself not to bail on his friends-- he'd promised he would help them out, and maybe Ron was right. Maybe it would be good for him.