Wilting || Colin Bridgerton

04.loved

The night went on with the five of us tucked away in the corner of the party, only broken when Constance was asked away to dance. I felt relaxed and almost nostalgic as the night passed, spending time with brother and his friends against the wall. It was if a part of me was transported into a time before any of my current day stresses. That part of me was quickly squashed when Colin smiled at me offering his hand for a dance.

"Come on, Miss Hayward," He smiled, "Don't tell me you've tired from one dance with Mr. Elis."

I glared at him slightly as I took his hand and was lead to the dance floor once more. I tried to focus on anything but Colin or the fact that the last time we danced he was thinking of proposing.

"Forgive my forwardness, Miss Hayward," Colin started, making it much more difficult to ignore him, "But are you and Mr. Elis..."

His voice trailed off but I knew what he was implying. I felt the red rise to my cheeks as irritation bubbled within me at his audacity. Before I could snap at him for it though he quickly nodded, no longer meeting my eyes.

"Very well then, I hope you two are quiet happy."

"What?"

I almost laughed at his words, realizing in mere seconds of silence he was convinced I was being courted by a man I hardly knew.

"I just mean I hope that if—"

"Mr. Bridgerton, I met the man yesterday. And though it is none of your concern of any relationships I do or do not have, Mr. Elis is well aware of the fact I have no intentions to court or marry until after my mourning period."

I could see the embarrassment that washed over Colin at my words and couldn't help but feel satisfied. He composed himself quickly before clearing his throat.

"My apologies, you're right it wasn't my place."

"Damn right it's not," I huffed, earning a shocked look from Colin.

"Did I do something?" He asked defensively.

I laughed at his words, enjoying the effects my words were having. "And you believe me the oblivious one?"

As soon as the dance ended I rushed back to my brother, Colin trailing close behind me as he tried to get my attention. Elliot looked at me puzzled as I grabbed his arm, telling him I wished to go home.

"So early, Miss Hayward?" Henry asked with a small frown.

"I am afraid I feel quiet faint from this evening's excitement. Though I do thank you for the wonderful time, Mr. Elis and I do hope to see you and your sister again soon."

Before another word could be uttered I pinched Elliot's arm to hurry him and we made our way out from the party. Only once we were in our carriage did Elliot ask me what happened, face riddled with concern. I repeated my lie from moments before and though he seemed displeased with my answer he allowed us to ride the rest of the way home in our comforting silence.

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

As tried to force myself into the relief of sleep my mind reeled with angered thoughts of Colin. The way he was so casual with me, so confident. As though he truly believed I could pretend nothing had ever happened. It dawned on me that despite everything we went through Colin Bridgerton had never told me he loved me. Perhaps that was why he was able to so easily move past it all. As I allowed myself to believe the possibilities of why Colin was the way he was I heard the distinct, unmistakable sound of a pebble on my window.

Tink.

Tink.

Tink.

A groan escaped me as I pulled a pillow over my head. For months I had been free of Colin in the physical sense and the grief his words caused held no true consequence.

Tink.

Tink.

Tink.

I threw myself out of the bed as I made my way down the stairs, not caring if anyone was woken by my stomps. I was sick of Colin Bridgerton and whatever he thought this was. I swung the back door open causing him to tumble back in surprise as he threw another pebble.

"Good lord, nearly scared me to death," He breathed placing a hand over his chest.

"What do you want?"

His expression fell at my words and I watched him for a moment seem as though he were completely unsure. Despite my desire to be nothing but furious at the boy in front of me I felt my own demeanor soften at seeing him so lost.

"Maggie," He shut his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath before starting again, "Miss Hayward, I am unsure of what I did to offend you so deeply but you must know I never meant it."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," I breathed, unable to hold onto my fury as I watched him.

"What do you mean?"

"You said I was right."

"What?"

I groaned and placed my hands on my temples trying to subdue the oncoming headache. It hurt more to know he didn't even realize how painful his word were.

"In a letter you wrote while on your tour," A lump began to form in my throat, I cleared it before continuing, "You told me at the beginning of last season I was right to say all the things I did."

"You disagree?"

"I am unsure of how I feel anymore, but it does not help that in a matter of weeks you went from wanting me to calling that desire foolish," My words came out with a strained laugh as my eyes found the ground. Colin didn't speak for some time and it was if I could feel my heart shattering again.

"I'm sorry," He offered finally.

We stood there a moment longer with our eyes transfixed on the ground and the only noise being that of the wind flowing through the trees. I began to think that there was nothing more but as I turned to return inside I heard Colin take a step towards me, causing me to look back to him.

"I only said that because I thought that was how you felt, Maggie."

"Colin, I loved you dearly," I sighed, tears welling in my eyes as I felt the weight of the words be lifted from my chest.

"Loved? As in you do not anymore?"

I finally met his eyes and the piercing blue seemed to dig deep into my soul, as though he could find the answer just by looking at me. Biting my lip I gave a brief shake of my head before rushing back inside, refusing to allow my tears to fall before him every again. My chest heaved as I closed the door behind me but I forced myself to creep to the window, peering out at him.

Colin stood there for a moment, unmoving. I was unable to see his emotions clearly through the darkness but I could make out the rise and fall of his shoulders as he took deep breaths before slowly making his way back towards his home. Only once he was out of sight did I finally allow the tears to flow freely. I slid to the floor as sobs took over my body, the sound muffled by my hand over my mouth and nose.

Only now was I truly released from Colin Bridgerton.