Wilting || Colin Bridgerton

09.love

After Elliot and I finished our dance he escorted me off the floor before making his way to retrieve beverages for us. I smiled as I scanned the room to see Henry approaching me. My smile fell quickly but before I could make an escape I felt his hand just above my elbow.

"Miss Hayward, please," His voice came out soft, temporarily melting my anger as I turned to him. "I truly never meant to offend you, I realize I should not have said the things I did this afternoon."

"You're right, you should not have. I do not know your intentions Mr. Elis but I believe I made it very clear I have no intentions of courting, let alone engagements or marriage, for until next season."

"My intentions?"

"You told me you merely desired to be my friend but approach me with outlandish claims of my relationship with Colin."

"Miss Hayward you call him by his first name."

"I have known him my whole life," I laughed angrily, "I was born inside this very home, his ancestral home. As a child I called him Colin and I see no reason to change that now."

"But are you not able to see how from an outsider's viewpoint that may look as though there is something more?" Henry asked in a near pleading tone, "And perhaps you are right I have misled you by saying I only desired to be your friend but can you truly tell me you do not have romantic feelings for Colin Bridgerton?"

My mouth fell agape, appalled at his question. Before I could respond Elliot joined us, an oblivious smile on his face as he greeted Henry and handed me my drink. I looked at my brother and quickly excused myself for some air. The nights breeze cooled my burning skin as I tried to compose myself fully. The party extended into the garden so I was unable to truly show my emotions but being away from Henry was enough to help me calm. Yet despite my best efforts I could hear his voice echoing the same question repeatedly in my head.

"Can you truly tell me you do not have romantic feelings for Colin Bridgerton?"

Alongside his words I began to replay so many memories it made my head spin. Colin sneaking out to my window, Daphne telling me love isn't something I could control, the bracelet I was gifted for my thirteenth birthday, dancing on Colin's feet to the sounds of a far away party, flowers that riddled my bedroom for weeks, and worst of all the letters all signed Your, Colin. I began to feel physically sick as I realized how correct Henry was in his accusations. I did still hold romantic feelings towards Colin Bridgerton. Despite nearly a year of pushing those feelings down into the deepest depths of my soul they still existed, plaguing me secretly as I went about my days. Now I stood in the middle of a party at his family's home unsure of what to do with myself.

"Maggie? Is everything alright?"

From the ground below I spotted Colin surrounded by a group of his school friends. While his eyes were riddled with concern all I could focus on was the looks of judgement cast by those around him. I nodded my head before quickly walking away, attempting to go far enough from everyone as to not be seen. I could hear Colin calling after me for a moment but as I made my way through the trees along the yards edge they faded. Unintentionally I found myself at Edmund Bridgerton's grave causing me to come to an abrupt halt. Fresh flowers were laid just below the headstone his family placed for him, slowly wilting from the lack of water. Biting my lip I made my way over to the wooden bench placed next to his grave so I could sit and attempt to rationalize my thoughts.

"Maggie?" A hushed yell came from the trees and I closed by eyes tightly, cursing myself to believe for a second that Colin would ever just leave me be. "Maggie, please it's not safe here. There could be wild animals."

"There are plenty in the house and you do not seem to care," I called back attempting to smile. Colin soon emerged from the trees, eyeing his fathers grave sadly before sitting next to me.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Oh you know I am easily overwhelmed," I joked once more.

"Maggie," He trailed off, his voice laced with concern. I shook my head as tears started to form in my eyes. He was right next to me, our knees touching, the boy I loved who would never love me back.

"Please, I wish to be alone."

"I can't just leave you here," He sighed.

"Why not? Why even bother?"

"Maggie please," He urged, pulling out his handkerchief as tears began to flow from my eyes, "Did someone hurt you?"

"Not intentionally," I chuckled grabbing his hand as he wiped my tears. He watched me closely as if waiting for more. "Colin, I believe I still love you."

His eyes widened at my words and my smile fell as I began to believe he was upset. The idea of not having Colin in my life, even as just a friend, sent me nearly spiraling. How stupid could I be to ruin one of the few good things in my life?

"You do?" He finally stuttered, shaking his head in disbelief. My lips formed a tight line as I nodded, tears flowing so quickly I could no longer see clearly. I closed my eyes as I waited for him to deny me, and leave me alone in the night. Instead I felt lips against my own and I pulled away in shock. Colin stared back at me with a red face I could barely see in the night. He started to apologize quickly but before he could utter a word I pulled him to me again.

His lips tasted of the champagne served in the party and were softer than any silk I had ever felt. As he kissed me softly I felt something inside me go off like fireworks, leaving me desiring more. When he pulled away we looked at each other blankly for a moment, words lost to what had just occurred.

"Maggie," He breathed, "I have loved you everyday of our lives, I merely wrote those things because I thought that was how you felt. Especially after losing your father, I truly believed I was relieving you of stress."

"Everyday?" I asked, a small smile forming on my lips.

"Yes," He chuckled, "Even as a boy I desired nothing but to see and be near you. I asked my father once when I was only nine years of age if I could marry you."

"What?" I laughed, shaking my head at his ridiculousness.

"It is true! He told me that we were both far too young but if I still felt that way when we were both of age I should pursue it," Colin smiled as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face, "I just never dreamed it'd be so difficult."

The sound of a twig snapping pulled both our attention, and Colin stood quickly to put some distance between us. He slowly made his way to try and find the origin of the sound but when he was unsuccessful he turned to me once more.

"We should return to the party, Anthony would have my head if I caused a scandal while he is courting Miss Sharma."

I nodded briefly as I watched him walk away first. As I waited there my head replayed the feeling of Colin's lips on mine, causing me to smile like a fool involuntarily. Despite all the earlier events, from last season to earlier in the evening, I found myself for the first time in ages feeling perfectly content and without a worry in the world.