Belong | Min Yoongi

17: Present Day

As it turns out, Mr. Min was more silent than expected. Yoongi told you that his old man was more emotional, hugging him and saying he's glad his son's happy again, that he found the piece that was missing. Yoongi didn't get that last bit, but you do; you remember that first conversation with his dad when you first visited the shop some weeks ago.

Your father was the talkative one. He asked about how you and Yoongi met, what happened along the way - which you narrated in a rather simplistic manner, given that you knew it'd hit too close to him, too; you did what your mom did, after all - and when he'll get to meet him.

"Sometime," you'd said and your father merely smiled and didn't press further.

That was a few days ago. Since then, you'd gone to the Opera House with Yoongi, played basketball in his favorite playground court, and planned to hike a mountain, until you saw how far you'd have to walk so you both decided to stay at the foot of it and just go for a food trip around the small town.

While Yoongi's working at the shop today, you're at Taehyung's house, seated on his couch while he lays his head on your lap. You're both watching a classic movie and reciting the lines word for word, getting sucked into the emotions of the scene.

Your best friend sits up right after the credits start to roll. "So, how's it like dating your ex-boyfriend?" He asks.

"Good," you smile, recalling how it's been since you both got back together.. "All the things that I loved about him are still there. He's still wise and gentle and thoughtful. But he's so grown up now, like when he talks about coaching the team and improving the sports department of the school. He sounds so mature when he talks about his dad's business and how he's helping in growing it, perhaps running the shop in the future when Mr. Min is unable to. But he still teases sometimes, he's still a little cocky flirt and an unbothered man when he wants to be."

"You seem really happy," Taehyung looks at you softly. "It's different, the way you look. You've never talked about anyone like this."

"I don't know where I got this capacity to feel for someone so much," you admit. "It's... it's overwhelming sometimes, you know? Like when I watch him preparing our meals or when he's on his laptop for work or when he's just seated next to me. I just feel so happy that I'm part of his world, that I get to experience this - being with him. It's kind of scary sometimes."

"In what way?" Taehyung asks worriedly.

"In the way that I know that the universe screws with us sometimes and takes things away," you say. "In the way that I find myself imagining - for the first time - what living here would be like and what job I'll have and where he and I will live. It's scary because of the way we got together was so familiar, and what if the heartbreak is the same, too?"

"Do you think about that? Of him, pushing you away again?"

"I can't help it," you sigh. "It's moments when I'm not with him that I end up thinking this way. It's like I'm overwhelmed with joy when I'm with him but I get so anxious when I'm not. Because what if one day, our circumstances pull us apart again? Then what? What if even with how happy I make him, he wants to stay here? And even with how happy he makes me, what if I still want to leave?"

"___, your life is in Seoul," Taehyung reminds you.

"My career is there; there's a difference."

"Is there really? In the industry where we work?" He challenges. "You can't be all that you want to be and stay here. I thought you always knew that."

"I did. I guess, finding my happiness again just gave me ideas," you say. "Staying here to be with him back then wasn't an option - I had a career to start and well, he also didn't want me. But now, I've got a few years under my belt. I could do something with it here, you know? Maybe run workshops? Set up my own theater company? Get into broadcasting?"

"Why are they all premised on you staying here, though? What about Yoongi being the one to leave to stay with you? Why do you get to be the one to give up your dream?"

"Because it's easier to make it here than it is in Seoul. And well, I guess it's a better scenario to think about rather than him not wanting to leave his life here to live it with me there."

You don't even notice the tears forming until one slides down your cheek, which you eventually wipe away. It's the thought you've been keeping in, unwilling to acknowledge it for fear of it coming true. You're scared that with all the things about Yoongi that haven't changed, his choice to prioritize your dream over your relationship is one of them, so you go ahead and think of giving it up for him instead.

"Hey," Taehyung says, hugging you for comfort. "Have you told him any of this?"

"No. I don't like talking about those things when we're together. I just want us to—"

"Stay in your own bubble of love before it breaks?"

You sigh in frustration. "I sound really stupid, don't I?"

"You sound like any person who's been hurt by someone they loved so much, and those fears are valid," Taehyung assures you. "But even if I want to say that you should follow your heart and be with the man you love regardless of what you have to give up, I can't. Because I saw how hard you worked to be where you are. I know what this means to you. You love acting more than anything and you always have."

"But I also know that Yoongi loves basketball, and he'd do anything close to what he couldn't have," you point out. "Coaching his college team fills that hole that his old broken dream left."

"Then where does that leave both of you?" Taehyung asks. "Who gives up what? The last time this happened, you gave each other up. Was it worth it? Would it be worth it this time?"

"I don't wanna think about it," you pout. "I don't want either of us giving the other up."

"Well then you've got to find a way to live out your dreams while still being together," Taehyung advises. "And something that's sustainable, something that doesn't tire you both out, that doesn't break you into pieces when being together is meant to keep you whole."

"I know. I'm just taking it one day at a time," you huff, exhausted from just thinking about all this and silently crying. "I'm working out schedules in my mind, figuring out arrangements, what I can do here, what he can do there... but they're all still scary because they're unknown. Choosing to just be happy with how we are now seems easy."

"It is. But what happens when it gets hard?"

"I guess he and I just have to... figure out how not to hurt each other unlike the last time," you sigh, knowing that saying it is much easier than doing it.

Yoongi never promised he wouldn't hurt you; he isn't the type to make those, knowing that his actions always say more than his words ever could. But you knew he wouldn't, that he'd never intend it. Yet losing him was the most painful thing you had to endure.

"You know it's not that simple, though," Taehyung says, pulling you close to him for the hug he knows you need.

"I know that, too," you reply, leaning on his shoulder now. "You'd think that after what I went through, I'd be so scared to be with him again because I lost him once and I don't know how I'd deal with losing him again but I'm so stubborn, I can't help myself."

"You find home in a man in the place that stopped feeling that way and then you don't want to leave," Taehyung hums. "That's natural. That's human. But you don't belong here, ___. You belong out there. You belong where you're wanted."