"You need to stop teasing me, Ariel. You somehow keep forgetting that even though I'm your best friend, I'm still a man. Next time you joke about sucking my dick or being fucked against a wall, I won't hold back."
He said in a low voice, backing me...
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Crushed didn't even begin to describe how I felt as I drove back home, realising that I never stood a chance. I was an idiot for believing that she would say yes.
I should've been content with what she was willing to give me. I would've always yearned for more, but at least I could continue to stay by her side. I could've silently mourned for my unrequited love as I continued being her best friend. But I had to go ahead and ruin it.
Now I had completely lost her and that was hurting me more than anything had ever done. I had finally found someone who understood me, who was able to bring me out of my shell, who made me feel loved but I lost her and now I just felt....... empty. The cruelty of the situation made me want to scream.
It was already dark outside by the time I stopped the car in front of my house and leaned my head on the steering wheel. My shoulders shook as the tears I'd been struggling to restrain began to fall freely.
Even if she didn't want it, a part of my heart had already decided that it belonged to her. That part was shattering somewhere in my chest and I wanted it to bleed out of me. I wanted to see the physical evidence of the pain I felt in my heart because it felt too real, too cruel, too intense to not leave a wound behind.
I wanted to rewind the day back to when we were still sitting in my car, talking and laughing, when everything was okay, and just not say those words, the stupid words that turned my world upside down.
The memory of her rejection kept replaying in my head as I wallowed in self pity.
I walked to my room in disbelief over how fast things could change. How we went from having amazing sex to abruptly parting ways in the last 24 hours was beyond me.
I had expected to spend the night reminiscing the memory of our first sex in my head. I knew it wasn't her first but it was her first with me and that made it exceptionally special.
Little did I know that things could change in the blink of an eye. Now I was lying in my bed and the sound echoing in my head wasn't her moaning my name, but her rejection - No.
No matter how many times I repeated it in my head, the ache in my chest just wouldn't go away. No. This seemingly small word kept me awake all night as I turned and twisted in my bed, cursing myself for being greedy, for wanting something more than I was worthy of.
It was stupid really when I went over everything in my head. What had I ever done to deserve someone as breathtaking as her? What gave me the right to think that she would ever love someone as ordinary as me? What made me think that she wanted me?
The way she made love to me last night did. The way she instantly relaxed in my arms like she belonged there did. The way she enjoyed acting as my girlfriend did. The way she got jealous of Mia did. The way her eyes held something beyond desire and lust did.
The way she blushed whenever I called her beautiful did. The way she always looked at me lovingly while kissing me did. The way her heart started beating out of her chest whenever she hugged me did. Heartbeats are the purest form of honesty. They don't lie.
