Daring, Charming , Real

Ch. 31

[Emilia POV]

My meeting with Thomas never came that day . It even kept him from coming to bed that night. I'm guessing he wanted an explanation the next time I saw him and honestly I don't think I'm prepared to poke that beast. Everything up until now was smoothed over and I didn't want to spiral back into who I was.

Weak and lacking good judgment.

After leaving the bedroom it seemed that no matter how hard I tried to avoid Thomas, he would still find me. I heard him ranting too Finn at breakfast so I camped out in the foyer so long that my eggs grew ice cold.

"You can't ignore him forever , Mrs. Shelby." Mary told me as she folded laundry in the next room over.

"He has to go to work sometime."

"Not soon I'm afraid. He's brought everything home for the week."

Week?

He had pre-planned this entire situation so he would have the upper hand. He wanted me to break first but had the patience to wait it out if I wasn't going too going as far as too set a timeline.

To be perfectly honest I would have put up a much bigger fight and drawn this out over the course of a month. But something inside of me was breaking down the walls I had slowly plastered up over the last several months. The very foundation was beginning to crumble to dust at my feet. I couldn't handle that and the petty acts of my husband ontop of it.

Building up my confidence on the way to the office, I thought over my words carefully. Placing each sentence after the last to give him only enough time to listen and not react. When I pushed the heavy wooden doors open I didn't bring in the theatrics as usual. Just walked through calmly as the hinges echoed behind me. Thomas was sitting at his desk holding two different papers in each hand, his golden wire framed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. His gaze met to mine only for a brief second before I was standing infront of him. I waited for him to lay the papers down on the table and greet me , but he never did. Only stared up into a blank silence.

"You are the harbinger of death. The boatman to hell who continues adding others on the voyage. Just being near you means I have to adapt and survive every single day. Everyone does, especially Finn." My words hit the air with just enough time for me to catch my breath, "Because at the end of the day Jon and Arthur cannot protect him. I cannot protect him. You cannot protect him , Thomas."

He sat the papers down before reaching up and removing the fragile frames from his face. His chest remained calm , deflating with a long sigh before leaning back to look over me.

"Are we still talking about Finn?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Do you believe that I cannot- have not, protected you?"

"This is not about me."

"Yes it is, do not lie to me." He snapped looking upwards in my direction.

My body stilled as he stood from his seat. . He walked over to the window sill that sat behind his desk, pointing out towards the lawn.

"That is where I have stood every night for the past 6 months. Rain, sleet , or snow. I have remained until the sun reaches the horizon. Some nights I don't even time to sleep because I have so much too do."

Questions poured from my head but none landed on my tongue. The memories of sitting against the chilled window pane at night and studying the wooded line of trees in the late dusk which hung above head but never remembering a time I saw Thomas. He was completely hidden. I sat in silence allowing him to continue.

"Emilia you see what I want you too see. If I allowed you too see more you wouldn't be here but instead 6 feet in the fuckin'. earth." He didn't look at me just continued staring off down the beaten path leading to the forest outside our home, "Michael was my only slip up. My one mistake."

"Adonis." I spat.

"Would have killed me. Was supposed to kill me in order to spare your life. I had men awaiting the shot from the bottom of that hill to come and retrieve the others."

He had men waiting.

"What about Simons job? We busted up the Russian operation and you were there."

His white lined smile gleamed from the sunlight. Each side of his lips tugging up into a smirk as he finally turned to meet my eyes.

"You made me a lot of money."

"You knew ?" I fumbled softly.

"You think Simon is brave enough to seek out my wife for a job that I have not cleared?"

I shook my head in disbelief. He chuckled at my wide eyes before huffing a deep breath.

"I know everything, Emilia. I know every single detail because most of the time I wrote it."

I quietly took a seat before my knees gave out from underneath me. His words were coming entirely too fast for my mind to catch up. Everything I had endured since moving in with the Shelby family came droning in. A series of memories flickered across my eyes of each time Thomas had lashed out for any of us hindering his plans. A show that he conducted fully on his own without hinting even the slightest otherwise.

"I know our son and I know who dies." His words were stale leaving a sour taste across my mouth despite the fact he said them.

"Who?"

"I'm taking care of it. That's for me to worry about. For now," he pushed a stack of papers across the wooden table top till they laid flat in front of me, "I need you to sign off on these numbers you ran last week. Then we are taking the day off."

My hands shook as I took the fountain pen from his outstretched hand. I looked over the words on the papers but my eyes we so unfocused from the tears beginning to well, I didn't pay much attention .

"Please, Emilia. Sign so I can take care of you."