Obey Me! Characters x Male! Reader • 2 | Closed! |

💝 Beach 💝

Context: You have been battling negative feelings about your body lately and feel nervous to go to the beach. . .

Request made by: Marshmallowl

In this particular chapter: The main character is trans male, and battling with gender body dysmorphia, and discomfort with their body. There will also be mentions of food restriction. Please educate me if I have written anything that is invalidating or offensive, I will not hesitate to immediately modify what I have written.

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(M|n) smiled wearily as he heard the conclusion of what he and the demons would be getting up to for their small vacation. They were going. . . To the Devildom beach.

The angels and Solomon were going to be occupied during this time and so they weren't going to be coming with them.

(M|n) agreed to go but deep down he didn't want to. . . It was only recently that he'd begun trying to heal his relationship with food. He hated the result of what was happening but he knew that it wasn't healthy for him to restrict his food intake.

The more he ate, the more uncomfortable he grew with his changing body. This body that he wished was different. He wanted it to so desperately match with his outward identity because that's who he actually was but he had no means to at the moment, which meant that he was stuck like this. . .

Going to the beach meant wearing swimming costumes, messing around in the ocean and your clothes sticking to your body because of the wetness, showing off your figure.

(M|n) didn't want that. He knew he would only feel self-conscious and instead of having fun the entire time, he would dwell on how his body looked. And if he didn't don a costume, he feared that the brothers would question him and he didn't feel comfortable with sharing his immense struggles with his body at the moment. All they knew was that he was transgender but that was about it.

If he were honest, he was in slight shock about the way they reacted when he first told them about it. It was so nonchalant, and not really caring (in a good way). It seemed that many demons in the Devildom identified with whatever gender identity they desired and it was actually considered a normal thing. They just never had a name for it. It felt unusual for (M|n), who'd only ever experienced people questioning his feelings about himself and misgendering him.

In all honesty, it was a freeing feeling not feeling like he was an anomaly amongst the brothers. They were also shocked that humans weren't as accepting as the demons were.

Not once did the brothers use the wrong pronouns or comment on the way his body was. They immediately used whatever he was comfortable with. It made (M|n). . . So incredibly happy and accepted.

The brothers didn't know that (M|n) constantly had a battle brewing in his head. (M|n) hated his body so much because it didn't align with his gender identity, and he was also way too fat, so he could never look at his own body for too long without feeling disgust. He knew deep down though that the fatness that he saw on his person was not what everyone else saw. A lot of people told him he was much too skinny and not to be concerned about such a thing. . . They would never understand how he felt though. And what happens if they were lying to him about that to save his feelings? Or their perceptions of fatness was different from his own?

(M|n) didn't want to spoil the demons' fun though by sharing his body concerns and so he kept his feelings to himself, pushing them deep down so he wouldn't have to face them.

He tightly steepled his fingers in his lap as he heard the conversations going on around him. He had mixed feelings about this whole trip. . .

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