Sick thoughts - Hyunlix

Cherry

When Hyunjin woke up, Felix wasn't there.

The sheets were wrinkled on the side he had been sleeping, indicating that he had really been there.

It wasn't a dream.

Hyunjin rubbed his eyes and tried to shake off the tiredness off his limbs.

His body was glued to the comfy mattress and he felt the shape of his body literally engraved on it.

He sighed, remembering the events from the previous night and feeling his head pounding already.

It was strange, because he wasn't thinking 'what have I done' like he did the previous times.

He just accepted that he was a loser.

No one, not even himself, could trust him.

He stared at the ceiling for almost an hour, or that's how it felt.

He thought about how he would face Felix now. What would happen.

They reached another level of intimacy. And it was because he allowed it. He allowed Felix to suck him off.

The worst part was that he didn't regret it.

Yeah, he knew it was bad, and he shouldn't have fallen into his charms. He knew he was contradicting himself over and over again.

But that was the best sexual experience he had ever had.

He always thought that sex wasn't for him, that he even enjoyed more when he was on his own than when he was fucking someone.

His thoughts were always negative, pleading himself to come, forcing it.

He even had to pretend a few times.

But then, at the party, when Felix jerked him off, it felt so fucking good.

So wrong, but so good.

He thought that maybe it was because of the alcohol. That he wasn't fully conscious and was horny just because of having drowned a whole bottle of gin.

But then again, yesterday.

He wasn't drunk. He was sober, completely sober.

The ease Felix had to get him hard, to have him curling his toes to hold back his orgasm, to close his mouth to not let his moans out but still hearing some of them.

It was just confusing.

Why, of all people, had to be Felix?

A bratty, annoying and exasperating person. And most of all, a boy.

Why did he feel like that with a man?

Why did he feel the need to get closer, to touch, when he looked down to Felix's lower body?

He didn't know.

Or maybe he did.

But that wasn't going to happen again, so it wasn't the problem.

The problem was how he was going to deal with Felix.

He got up from the bed and used the bathroom attached to the room to clean himself up.

Although he cleaned Felix's cum off his torso with the sheets last night, there was still some reaching his neck, and his own lower body needed a shower after the mess they made.

So he took a shower, not minding about asking Felix and just feeling his body erase the younger's touch and release.

It felt disgusting. To be cleaning another man's cum off his own body, or that's what he was telling himself.