Sick thoughts - Hyunlix

Grow up

"Hyunjin?" Felix asked in a small voice when his breathing stilled.

Hyunjin was laying his head on his chest, still recovering from their mind-blowing sex and trying to understand everything that just happened.

Felix put his hand on top of Hyunjin's shoulder and looked down just when the elder rose his head.

When their eyes met, they already knew that something was happening. They knew that what happened was just the beginning to something else.

And neither of them wanted to accept it.

Still, they weren't looking at each other with the usual challenge and rage.

It was just... tiredness and so much confusion.

Although Hyunjin's reasons were obvious, there was also the same look on Felix, the same big doe eyes staring at the black ones right in front of him.

Hyunjin's eyes reminded him of the universe.

They were void, completely black and it was easy to get lost in them.

But at the same time, they held so much behind. So many emotions, little stars that not everyone was able to see, or just didn't care.

"Are you okay?" Felix asked out loud, worried about Hyunjin's lost expression.

In a split second, everything changed once again.

Hyunjin put on that mask again, the one that he had personally costumed so everyone thought he was as bad as he behaved.

But even if it was for a few moments, Felix was able to see him without it.

And the only thing he saw was a scared boy, someone who didn't understand what was happening and needed someone to guide him.

"Um...yeah."

Hyunjin stood and pulled up his pants, biting his lips nervously and looking around in the room, as if trying to find something.

But then again, he turned around and went to the door, looking downwards.

"Are you gonna run away again?" Felix let out before Hyunjin could open the handle.

"I..." It was so hard to think at that moment, with his head high from the orgasm and that part of him that still did not want to connect.

"Hyunjin." Felix hopped off the desk, nearing Hyunjin's back and standing behind him, knowing that if he reached out the elder would panic and go away. "It's okay."

Hyunjin's breathing deepened as the hold in the handle just hardened.

"I understand how you feel."

"How can you?" Hyunjin said through gritted teeth, with his jaw so tight he was afraid of cracking his teeth.

"I've been through the same."

"I'm not like you." Hyunjin was starting to get nervous in a dangerous way, as if his brain was forgetting by itself of the feelings and doings from a few minutes ago.

"Okay." Felix didn't want to scare him, just understand why Hyunjin rejected that part of himself so much, why he behaved like that. "I just want you to know that it's okay."

"It's not okay, Felix. How the hell is it okay?" He finally turned around, frowning and spatting angry words at the brunette, still not wearing anything on top and looking extremely delicate.

It was at this moment, when Felix was like that, unpowered, small, delicate, that the sickest thoughts invaded Hyunjin's head.

"You're allowed to try, Jinnie."