Apaharan

i don't deserve......

SHIVA's POV:-

Soon we reach our home without giving me a single flance raavi went away in the guest house given to her..... She doesn't showed any type of emotion and kept her face straight just like the first day i met her.......
I step out of the car and megha and suraj also left i was conflicted i really want to go to raavi and talk to her but i really have to avoid it....... Soon i reach my cabinet and saw lights if her cabinet off.....
I took a deep breathe and moved inside my door as i was about to change i got a call from my man which live with us and now are following dev and gautam i know each and evry move they are making if i wish i can assassinate them now but i will bring them to tge kabila and than in front of everyone kill them like the way they deserve..... Ruthlessly......
This cycle which has been going on needs to end all the innocent people who had been suffering cause of this devil disguised as dev a police officer will come to an end and i willl make sure it ends soon.......

"Hlo bhaiya..... Vi log kabile ke pass aate jaa rahe hai..... Vo do din mein paunch skte hai............. "

"Bas nazar rakh unpar aur mujhe khabar deta rehna baki jo plan ke mutabik socha hai vohi hoga...... Aur bsss mera saath dena......... "

"Ji bhai..... "

I let out a deep breath these two days are going to be crucial for our plan dev thinks he is coming close to me but little did he know he is coming near me because i am letting him come here...... Once i trap him i won't hesitate to kill him with his friend gautam they deserve it........
But this is not gonna be easy not because i am nit ready or what but cause raavi is in this picture how she reacted ro krish's death is still afresh in my mind. I have changed the whole plan  Just to make sure she doesn't see her husband being tormented *argh* i hate speaking that...... Why t
She was married to him when she can be with me....... Oh just shut up. Shiva you are making it more difficult she is not yours......
I don't know what is this but if she sees me killing that dev she will Surely not like me and man does this hurts i can't even explain......
I have met this girl in the most complicated situation ever...... Her being wife of the person whom i want to kill isn't it crazy that i was suppossd to kill her the day i met her but i cannot do that i do not want to label this feeling because i whatever it is i will never trade these days for anything.......
I have tried to search about her as in who she is where she came from but it just says that she used to live with her dad and than got married to dev no one knows when but they did abd since than dev never let her out she just stays in the house doesn't talk to anyone.......... also no one has never seen her except dev and his friends krish and gautam........ It just seems like she was caged......
Though people say dev was really possessive for his wife that's why we wanted to abduct her but after seeing her i myself habe an urge to keep her all for myself...... But what am i just man who is srilll fighting his past demons and cannot get over it....... She doesn't deserve me..... She is an innocent girl how can i just drag into my dark world................ She is just an angel so pure...... And here i am who has a problemtic past and temper issues...... I am no good for her i will always cause  harm to her......
i have to stay away from her cause i have to complete my promise i made to Radha...... I cannot let her down..... So i have to stay away from her.......... It is better for me as well as her cause her staying near me always attract me towards her just like today how i was about to close the distance between us...... STOP....... STOP..... What you did was wrong shiva.... You are not supposed to do this......just remember one thing stay away from her...........Soon i was lulled to sleep.

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RAAVI'S POV

what just happened today!!!!!!! Am i out of my mind what i was thinking what i was doing it was so wrong so Irrational of me......... How can i let that happen........
I just sat on my makeshift bed and was thinking what just happened i just think properly soon tears gather in my eyes i don't know why i feel like i am wrong i am leading shiva onn....... He is a nice man.... I cannot help but just get attracted ro him....
.
.he is everything i could wish for but  what am i?? I am girl who is nothing but a mess i have been ruined by my own husband......... Knowing all this still i am getting close to him i am good for nothing...... I just feel pathetic......
He is the first person who asked me about my well being.......
He look at me with so much respect in his eyes......
I remember each and every word he said to me..... I don't know why but i want him to hug me again like he did it earlier today and thos thought makes me cry even more i am married right!!  I shouldn't feel that....... God i am so pathetic.....
But i like being near him is this wrong....... Thinking about him like this is wrong..... I don't know but i have to stay away from him i cannot let that hapien beacuse if i will stay near him i know i will lose myself in him....... But he doesn't deserve me i am wrecked and just messed up he is so nice...... I don't know what came to my mind i stood up from the bed and looked myself in the mirror i removed the dupatta and lossened the dress  by unzipping it i cabnot contain a sob......i have scars on my chest more i look at myself i can see those permanent marks on me marks of dev's wrath everywhere i am not even beautiful and i am getting attracted to an epitome of beauty who deserves nothing less than best and here i am all torned and i cry even more i wore my dress back and look deep into my reflection..... It nothing just empty no life in it......... Dev made me like this my dad made ne like this and now if am i getting a person who actually cares it's late too late...... I am not the one he will ever want and at last i know u have to leave this place...... Soon he will also realize that i am no onone and he will not even look at me.......my dad always used to say that i am bad omen who destroys everyone who comes close to her...... My mom died whe i was 7 because of my disgrace my dad spaced himself from me i have to stay away from shiva or else i will will ruin him too........