Apaharan

Insecurities and Determination

SHIVA'S POV:-

Next morning came really quick i straight away went to rahim chacha to discussy next move

"Pranam chacha..... "

"Pranam shiva..... "

"Chacha apse baat krni thi.... "

"Janta hoon shiva suraj ne bata diya hai mujhe....... Kal suraj aur megha ki shaadi se pehle ki puja hai aur uske baad hum sab kabile ke log unko ashirwaad dekar raat ko agni mein kuch rasam ka saman daal kar nazar utar denge taki sab thik se ho...... "

"Haan chacha..... Kal ka din bhut jaroori hai par chacha mujhe yaad nhi raha iss puna ke bare mein par main isse rokunga nahi nahi toh suraj ko acha nhi lagega par rasam ke baad apko..... "

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After having brief conversation with rahim chacha i know my plan is fine and it will happen soon i busied myself in preparation of the ritual as well as my plan execution.... Bit one thing which really need to keep in mind was to avoid raavi to stay away from her.........
I went down the the valley to look for the arrangements of the plan....... As i was going down i saw one thing which i made me froze me on my spot. There stood raavi in a baby pink color dress and a matching dupatta giggling on something standing next to rohini chachi.........

RAAVI'S POV:-

This morning came with a darkness with surronded me and my whole being which was just telling me to stay away from HIM.....
I never knew that i will feel so connected to someone in my life that even a thought of avoiding him will make me feel so dull........ I just dragged myself out of my makeshift bed and freshened up for the day.......... Just as i move out of my cabinet rohini chachi came to me telling me something about a function which will be tomorrow so today we have to do preparation for it and asked for help i agreed and we both were moving from one part of the kabila to other where huts of other people are to look into the prep when we were moving we heard sound of  someone screaming me and chachi ran towards the source abd the site made us forst confused but than left us in a laughter fit........
There stood suraj and megha looking like a drowned rats standing in between the shallow stream and megha was staring at me him more like a death stare....... We came near them and than chachi said,

"Kya ho rha hai yeh..... "

Megha says angrily,

"Dekho na kaki yeh suraj ne mujhe yahan paani mein gira diya........ Aur abb hass rha hai...... "

Chachi replied while twisting suraj's ear,

"Kya baat hai Suraj tujhe bola tha mat tang kar use..... Itne kam hai aur tujhe bachpana sujh rha hai...... "

Suraj whines and megha encourages kaki this whole thing lighten up my mood making me laugh on their antics i cannot believe they both are ones whom marriage prep we are doing they still fight like kids...... But that's what love is right...... You feel free to do anything the that person be it be being childish you are just what you actually are...... Iyself feek so alive with shiv...... S. T. O. P stop raavi.... Soon i shook my head smiling on my despair and the cute fighting couple and i met with those eyes...... which pnes again made me still he was looking at me..... And the look on his face make me feel like he is adoring me....... He makes me feel beautiful his eyes tell me that he wants me to stay in front of him.......his eyes consume my being....... As we lock eyes  i cannot help but stand there admiring him and think does he feel the same as i feel for him..........Oh god!!!!!!! Raavi just break the eye contact and i did that reluctantly and lolked down soon realisation dawns on me as why he will ever like me i am nothing more than a hostage i am living here for tge sake of his revenge and than i am gone......... He will never feel like how i feel..... Maybe after a very long time having someone who cares for me who just don't look at me with lust but adoration all these things are making me fall for him but for him he has a lot of girls to choose from. Those are perfect and are innocent and will only belong to him unlike me who is tainted.......
I made an excuse to chachi and move towards kitchen helping everyone.......

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SHIVA'S POV:-

I was just admiring her..... The light pink color suits her so damn much...... Her soft giggles and the way her nose Scrunches when she laughs is the etheral sight ti watch........ So raw yet so perfect.....
She shakes her head and looks at me and our eyes met i cannot fathom why i was feeling a different emotion in her eyes today the emotion which i always longed to see....... the emotion that i am void off..... She kept on looking at me and i cannot move my eyes from her chocolate brown orbs....... They just are calling me...... They are first time speaking and requesting for me to come near her....... In that moment i just wanted to go near her and talk to her hold her hand and feel it and hug her her eyes today show me longing........ But before i could decipher much she broke tge eye contact and took a step back..... Her simple action broke my heart i don't know why it make me think that she back off from me.......
The look i saw in her eyes was admiration abd i dare say love..... But why would she love me she is from the city a beautiful girl she can have anyone on his knees befging for her and i am no one.....and i saw her moving away from me...... Maybe this what the fate is i cannot fall for this girl she is not in my fortune and angel and never be with an unfortunate man who had nothing to give her...... And sge goes missing from my sight and i also moved from there away from that olace heading out to complete my work and take my revenge......
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The day went sooner than expectef everything was set up and now i call my people those are on watch...

"Hari..... "

"Ji bhai..... "

"Sab intezam ho gya hai bas tujhe unn logon ko kal shaam hobe tak uljha kar rakhna hai......... Fir shaam hote hi unko kabile ki aur le aana............ "

"Ji bhai...... "

And tge call hangs up tomorrow is the D-day and it was risky i have manage to let the function run smoothly and than i have to finish what Dev have started by killing him...........
I don't know what will happen after that my revenge will be done but Raavi what will happen to her........ Is that what fate plans for us will this be the last day i saw her smiling and than she will move away from me just like all the people those who have left me...... Will she also not look back at me once she moves out.......
Obviously why would she look back at me she doesn't have feeling for me like i have for her she don't have a reason to stay but i don't want her to go...... Ever since she has been here i feel like living more..... I feel like i can also have a life....... I have been helping and loving all the kabila members cause i feel like they gave me second birth my saving me and they never asked me anything in return and i was there debtor for all this unconditional love they gave  and i never thought that other than them i want anything but for raavi she came in my life illuminated it and showed me that i want more i crave for more........ I want to call someone mine....... I want to have a family...... Not just a family but a family with Raavi....... Is it even possible i let out a sadistic chuckle what am i thinking tomorrow after killing dev i know she will not even stand me......
But that's whatbis fate for me always unfortunate and leaving me alone once again........
But i have to do this
And i will do this
I will take radha's revenge 

Having this stern thought in my mind i just slept not wanting to drown in my feelings or letting myself weak cause tomorrow i have to stay cold hearted and head strong.......
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