Ride The cyclone Head-canons/Oneshots

__Jane Oneshot__

(I'm sorry I just love sad shit.)
                       !TRIGGER WARNING!
                                 (Self Harm)

        Jane had never liked how she looked. She couldn't see herself as pretty, even though she received reassurance from her friends, she can feel cute one day and a troll the next. Jane was quiet and innocent, that's how she was seen, and that was how she was. So that's why the choir was so surprised when Noel told them that he had caught Jane shaking and teary eyed standing at the mirror, covering her face. Jane refused to talk about it no matter how hard her friends pried. She was just quiet, quiet Jane Doe. She had been even more silent then usual, not eating, not sleeping, no accidental fires. It set off the whole team, they were out of tune, literally and emotionally. The choir was worried about the lovable and innocent Penny Lamb. It was a couple hours after school, Jane, Ocean, and Constance were roommates, but it wasn't uncommon for the group of friends to live in one persons dorm, they were a family. Ocean was explaining how to do the math homework to Misha, Noel was trying on the new clothes, Constance was baking a new cake recipe she saw on Pinterest, Ricky was putting stickers on his crutches, and Jane? Jane wasn't in the regular hangout spot, silently sitting in front of the fireplace with a cat in her lap listening to the others drama, no. She was in her room on the floor sitting against the wall, trying not to cry. She didn't know what to do or how to ask for help, in truth, she didn't want help. People always have to help her, she felt like such a burden. Jane wasn't sure how to fix these feeling without her friends help so she grabbed Noel's laptop from her bed that she had previously stolen for her speech lessons and opened it frantically. She tried her best and typed 'Howe too help whehn fealing bad aboit youreself ' into the keyboard, breath shaky. Jane scrolled and scrolled, ignoring the help lines and therapist numbers until she got too a link unlike the others, she wasn't the brightest when it came to technology but she knew what social media was, Twitter. Jane found a post of someone with a blurred out face saying how much they hate their face and body. This granted the desperate girl a twinge of hope, there were other people like her. Jane clicked the account and say many pictures with buttons like 'possibly sensitive feed' etc. She didn't know what that meant or how to unblur them so she just kept scrolling, after 10 minutes or so of reading these threads and things over and over again her finger tapped the mousepad wrong and clearing one of the images attached to a thread. She became stone still as she sat and gazed at the image, it showed someone's thigh with cuts all over it, "o-oh my, what happened to them..?" The girl whispered as she zoomed in. There was a video attached, Jane hesitantly played it, she shut the laptop once it finished as she starred at her wall. "It doesn't make sense? Hurt your.. yourself?" Jane was confused, very very confused. Why would someone do this to themself? How could this help? It makes no sense, why? Those questions flew through her head over and over, desperate for any way of getting help that didn't involve her friends this time, she remembered something Misha said when trying to get Ocean to take shots with him "Don't knock it till you try it." Well, maybe I could try it, maybe I'll feel better? She thought to herself. Jane was barely able to stand up, her legs had given out and she had to grasp the dresser for support. She stumbled over to Ocean's backpack and looked through her pencil case and found a pencil sharpener, Jane took it apart and carefully took out the sharp blade. Ignoring her instincts she hid it in her hands and quickly rushed out the door heading to the bathroom, "Oh hey Pj! Where ya been?" Ricky greeted the girl, who was more pale then usual, if possible. "No where." She stared at him and smiled, she hurried off and shut the door behind her and locked it. And there Jane sat, pulling up her Lacey sleeves and starred at her blank wrists. The frightened girl looked at the blade and brought it to her wrist, gliding it softly across, blood dribbling down, staining her skirt. Jane winced as tears swelled. She did it again, and again, and again. Reaching and clawing for any sense of self. She didn't know how to stop, she knew this wasn't what Misha meant, none of them ever wanted her hurt. She's a burden even when she's sad about herself, she thought. Jane fell down the rabbit hole, she was in a trance, under a tragic spell.
".Ooo! How about we all play UNO!" Constance suggested as they were all bored, not knowing what there was to do. "No, we always get in some argument and freak out Pj." Ocean said. "Oh my god Ocean it's a card game, don't flip a table and maybe she wouldn't be as scared?" Noel snapped, they always got in tiny arguments, the others found it amusing. Everyone agreed on playing uno "great, I'll go look up the rules to explain to Pj because she probably forgot." Noel laughed and walked to Jane/Oceans room knowing Jane had probably stolen his laptop again. "Ugh, really Jane? On the floor?" He scoffed and picked it up walking out of the room opening it to look up the rules. "Alright guys, give me two sec-, huh?" Noel stood confused. He scrolled, the rest of the choir looking puzzled. The boy scrolled to see the images and threads Jane had been looking at, noticing the poorly typed sentence in the search bar. "Guys look at what Jane was looking at.." The group huddled around the screen, confusion turning to panic. "P-Pj..?" Noel called. "Can you come here for a sec please?" He asked, praying to see the girl come out safe with an explanation. That wasn't what happened. "Shh" Ocean shushed everyone's confused chatter. In the silence they heard the faint, muffled cry's of their beloved friend. Ocean started speed walking down the hall before being stopped by Constance "hey Ocean, not this one, alright? Let Ricky talk to her, he's her best friend." Constance recommend softly. "Wha?- I mea- Yeah, you're right." She sighed, "Ricky hurry, please she may be hurt!" They rushed Ricky to the hallway. The boy frantically sped walk to the bathroom door, Ricky softly knocked on to the door. "Pens? Pens open the door." He asked realizing it was locked. No reply. "Please Pj, please open the door I need to talk to you." Ricky begged knocking on the door harder. "Mm mm" The girl whispered in a frail voice, Constance hurried over the the door with a hairpin and unlocked the door and walked out of the hallway, the whole group listening. "Penny, I'm coming in." Ricky said before bursting into the bathroom looking around for Jane before looking down, there was a lot of blood. She crawled into the corner as far as she could covering her arms with a towel, she shoved her head into her knees. "P-Pens" Ricky couldn't believe the sight he was seeing. Jane was shaking and sobbing as she made herself small, trying to hide from what she thought was her disappointed friend. Ricky walked towards the frightened girl slowly, shutting the door behind him. "Please g-go" Jane stuttered, chocking down her sobs. "No, I can't do that." Ricky said firmly as he kneeled down next to the crying girl. Jane tried to scoot away from him but she couldn't, she had met the corner. "What happened Pj" Ricky asked with a soft voice, clearing the loose strands of hair behind Janes ear. "I-I don't like my-myself" she sobbed, Ricky looked around and saw the bloody blade on the floor. "Janey.." he whispered. "Let me see your arm Pens." Ricky said as he touched her arm, an attempt to grab it. Jane shook her head and hid her arm more, she had always been stubborn when it came to opening up about her emotions, but this. This was different. Without asking again, Ricky carefully grabbed Janes arm, she tried to pull it back but she didn't have the energy to deny her friend any longer. Jane turned her head as Ricky flipped her arm over, examining the self-inflicted wounds. The confused boy grabbed Jane's chin so she would look at him. "Why?" That was all Ricky said. "I-I don't like how my face looks, it's all weird and I was upset, a-and someone online said this helps them." The girl sniffled. "This is only a temporary fix Pens, it only hurts you in the long run, I promise... I think for once, Ocean may have words that will sound better than mine, would you like to talk to her after we get you cleaned up?" Ricky asked, calmness in his voice. Ricky knew that Ocean would say all the right things this time, Ocean has had a thing for Jane for a while so he was sure she'd have plenty of ways to help Jane with her self esteem. Jane thought for a moment, unsure if she was ready for anyone to see her like this, since she always was an emotionless doll to them. "Yes, I'd like that" Jane sniffled, smiling lightly at the thought. "There she is, there's the bright smile." Ricky said which caused Jane to giggle. "Alright then, let's get you cleaned up, shall we?" He stood up and offered the girl a hand, Jane winced at the numbness in her legs. Ricky helped Jane get clean and all bandaged up, though it was difficult to clean the cuts because Jane was being stubborn and insisted that she didn't need the alcohol wipes.
Ricky walked out of the bathroom, Jane following close behind holding his hand, looking at her feet. They entered the living room, dead silence as the Choir gathered around them. When Jane finally looked up she was met with a bunch of worried faces, she couldn't help but tear up at the sight but the group all hugged her. "I'm really sorry if I made any of you guys mad or upset, I j-just didn't want you guys to be disappointed in me" Jane rambled as she cried. "No one is mad or disappointed in you Pj, you hear me? We will absolutely always be there for you, we don't care what it is. Always." Constance said firmly before pulling the girl into another tight hug. The group agreed and did a big group hug. Jane wasn't completely happy with herself and her looks at the moment, but she sure was happy with who was there to help her when she felt this way.

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Damn, that was a long one. Took up half the school day lol.
I may write a part. 2 about when Ocean talks to Jane calling her the prettiest girl she's ever seen and stuff. I'm not sure if I want that to end in nsfw yet or not. Well we shall see.🤞🏻
(Also I literally forgot Ricky couldn't speak before the cyclone accident and I don't have the energy to fix it right now no ignore that 💀)

-Laterzz