42 | the best for you.

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With a tired groan emitting from my throat, I rub my fingers over my eyes as they adjust to the morning sun peering through the curtains. It's seemingly still quite early and after shedding a lot of tears, Kenzie and I fell asleep beside each other on the couch. Although, now I seem to be the only one still here.

"Kenzie?" My voice is hoarse as I call out for my daughter.

Standing up from the couch, I wrap a blanket around my shoulders and make my way out of the living room, careful to avoid the glass.

"Kenz?" I call a little louder.

As I reach the foyer, the sound of her dry reaching comes into earshot, so I'm quick to follow it down the hallway and into the guest ensuite where I find my daughter sitting on the cold tiles, doubled over the toilet.

"Oh, babe." I crouch down beside her, brushing the hair out of her face and holding it back. "What happened? You didn't take anything, did you?"
With all the research I've been doing about addiction, I know that nausea and vomiting can be a symptom of withdrawals, but I'm wanting to make sure this isn't an overdose of something.

She shakes her head, "I just woke up and I felt like I was going to puke."

"Aw, Kenz. Alright," I say, shifting myself into a more comfortable position as I cross my legs and pull the blanket over her back. She's still in the same clothes as last night, and is most likely freezing her ass off due to the fact that it's the middle of February.

"I'm so sorry for last night," she sniffles, lifting her head to meet my gaze for one split moment before once again throwing up in the toilet.

Instead of responding right away, I wait until she's finished and once she is and is resting her head back against the tiled wall, I shuffle beside her to share the blanket. "Thank you."

Kenzie closes her eyes and lets out a heavy breath through pursed lips as the two of us fall into a moment of silence, waiting for the nausea to pass.

"Are you going to send me to rehab?" She questions in an almost inaudible whisper, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

I take a deep breath and clasp her left hand in my right. "I'm not your legal guardian, so I can't make you do anything, but I have been speaking to Sam and Ryan about the situation and they both agree that it's a good idea," I explain in a gentle manner.

Kenzie sits herself up right, eyes still shut as she starts shaking her head. "No, I don't want to go."
The strain in her voice and the now several tears rolling down her cheeks make my heart ache, but I know there's only so much I can do before I lose her to this addiction.

"I know you don't, sweetheart. I don't know how else to help you though. As much as I'm here to listen, and give you lots of cuddles and reassurance, this is outside of my knowledge."

"What about school? I can't just skip god knows how much because you want to send me to rehab," she frets, "and how am I supposed to go without sleeping in my own bed? You know I hate change. And what about Marty, and Gracie? What do I say to them? And Sam and Ryan? And you? I can't not see you."

"Hey. Hey," I soothe, cupping her cheeks in the palm of my hands as I force her to look at me, "it's going to be alright. All of those people you mentioned? They want the best for you, Kenz. Besides, I'll come see you as often as allowed. I just want you to get better, sweetheart."

With a nod, her head slumps against my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for what I did last night," she repeats her words from only a few minutes ago, tears dropping onto my pyjama shirt.
"I know you are. Everything is going to be okay," I respond in a hoarse voice, rubbing a firm hand up and down her spine.

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