LABYRINTH | Scarlett Johansson x Daughter

46 | i'm sorry i blamed you.

Kenzie

The sun shone through the floor to ceiling window of Doctor Glassford's office. Heat reflected off the glass, filling the room with the perfect amount of warmth as I lay down on the couch across from the woman who has been incredibly patient with me over the past three weeks.

Opening up has never been an easy task for me, but over the last twenty-four days, I'm slowly learning how and whilst that comes with a sense of freedom from, it can also be very confrontational.

I've had to learn to not only understand the hurt caused by others, primarily my parents, but I've also had to understand that some of the decisions I have made especially in recent months, have inflicted pain onto others.

"I'm not sure I ever took into account the fact that he was also struggling. I didn't question why he had the drugs or was using them before I had even tried anything in the first place, and I treated him so poorly because I only cared about how I was feeling," I speak into the quiet space, my head resting on the cushioned arm of the couch as I stare up at the ceiling.

"Granted he did shove me against a wall," I add before turning my head to the black-haired woman across the room.

"Did that frighten you?" Doctor Glassford queries, switching her right leg over her left as she leans back in her chair.

"I trashed his bedroom only a few days prior, I probably deserved it."

"I didn't asked if you thought you deserved it, Kenzie. I asked if it frightened you?" She reiterates in a stern, yet gentle manner.

I take a moment to pause and think back to the event. "Yes. It did. I'd never known Oliver to be aggressive until that day, although I think he might have been going through his own withdrawals, it didn't seem like him if that makes any sense at all?"

"It does," she says with a single nod, jotting notes down on her clipboard. "Where did your relationship stand with Oliver before you were checked in here?"

"It didn't stand anywhere. We never spoke after that."

"Okay, and how does that make you feel?"

I scoff lightly and fixate back on the ceiling. "God, I don't know."

"Try to think. Don't worry about it making sense, but if Oliver was in the room right now, what would you want to say to him?" She prompts.

"You're making it sound as though I'm going through a divorce," I chuckle dryly with a light roll of my eyes.

"We're not going anywhere until you answer the question, Kenzie."

I throw my hands over my face with a frustrated groan before resting them back on my stomach and bending my knees.

"I would want to say...," a heavy sigh falls past my lips, "You sometimes made me feel like I wasn't allowed to grieve the loss of my parents, because I'd always complain about how horrible they were. I didn't always feel that my emotions were valid and as much as I didn't want to talk to you after being shoved against the wall, it really hurt me when you never so much as sent a message to apologise. However, I have a lot to apologise for too, and I am sorry that I didn't necessarily make you feel as though your emotions were valid either. I'm sorry that so I was desperate for a distraction that I took advantage of the fact that you liked me, and I used you to help me feel better. I didn't even try to begin to understand until now why you got so upset when you told me you loved me and I didn't say anything at all, but it makes more sense now. Not that it excuses your aggression.
More than anything though, I'm sorry I blamed you for my addiction."

The room falls quiet for a minute, causing me to turn my head back to Doctor Glassford. She seems to be taking several notes, but before I can send myself into a spiral of overthinking she looks up from her clipboard with a warm smile.

"You've come a long way since our first session, Kenzie. You should be very proud of yourself."

Due to my emotions being all over the place the last several weeks, the compliment instantly makes me teary-eyed. "Thank you."

The remainder of the session went fairly quickly and after wrapping up our conversation about Oliver, the topic soon was focused on my relationship with Scarlett, so it was a little more light. Once the hour was up, Doctor Glassford showed me out of her office and up to the dining area for lunch.

"Who's coming to visit today?" She questions as the two of us step out of the elevator and begin to make our way down the hallway.

"My friend, Gracie," I explain, utterly excited at the prospect. In these last three weeks, my phone time has been extremely limited and I've only had the opportunity to speak with her on two occasions, so to say I'm looking forward to spending an entire hour with her in person is most definitely an understatement.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your time."

I send her a quick 'thank you' before heading into the dining and kitchen area where I impatiently wait out the next few minutes at any empty table, only to jump right back up when I spot my favourite redhead walk into the room.

"Gracie!"
I don't mean to squeal as I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my forehead against her shoulder, but the excitement overwhelmed me.

"Hi angel," she reciprocates the hug with a light giggle, "I've missed you. How are doing?"

"I've missed you too, and I'm doing better," I admit honestly, pulling back to look up at her while still keeping my arms around her waist. "That's good, Kenz."

Taking her by her free hand, as the other grasps onto the straps of her tote bag, I guide her through the dining room, over to the buffet where we're met with a variety of different options before sitting down at the only empty table with our food.

"I have something for you," Gracie says, pulling out a baby pink polka dot gift bag from her tote. A giddy feeling erupts in my stomach when her hand brushes over mine as she passes it over.

"You didn't have to do this," a shy smile curls upon my lips as I try to stop myself from tearing up at her kindness, "Thank you, Gracie."

"You're welcome," she lifts her shoulders to her ears and tucks her hands underneath her thighs, "I hope you like it."

After opening up the bag, I take out a brown teddy bear and an annotated copy of 'Daisy Jones & the Six'. The sentiment behind the book makes me so incredibly giddy, I'm almost kicking my legs.

"I love it," I admit, scrunching up my nose as I send her a wide smile. The urge to lean across the table and press my lips against hers, is so strong I almost do it, but I'd much prefer it the first time I kissed her wasn't in a rehab facility, so I find it within myself to hold back. Gracie only deserves the best, and I still have to work through a bit before I'm able to give that to her.

"I think my sister added something at the bottom of the bag too," she informs me with a small giggle, so I pull out the tissue paper to find a polaroid image of Avery.

Confused, I hold it up to Gracie as my eyebrows draw together.

"Oh my goodness," she face palms herself, "she always has to be the centre of attention. She told me she wrote you a card!"

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There's only 4 chapters left, I feel like that went so fast...