Disclaimer: This piece might trigger remembrance of past traumas and mental health-related concerns. Reader discretion is advised. Furthermore, content piracy is an illegal act and is publishable by law.
This lightbulb moment, yes, I won't let this slip away! Blanks are starting to get filled out with what to try out next. The underlying root behind all of these, after so many breakdowns from school days up to now, trying to find the cause is not laziness, but lack of self-confidence. I procrastinated due to the fact that I was either distracted or destructed.
Distracted by the things I do instead of the assigned task because I find comfort in what I'm doing at the moment. Destructed if I had a past painful inclination to the task at hand where I failed miserably and the like.
Either way, to get out of distraction, I must accept the reality that excessive comfort can kill the dreams I yearn for. If I want to achieve my goals, what type of me is required to accomplish those? I should embrace the discomfort of feeling like an impostor until such time I get to live the way I wanted to all this time. On the other hand, to end the destruction, I have realized that if I failed miserably before with the synonymous task in front of me then I must say, "God has given me another chance to redeem this work, an opportunity indeed." because it is. But then again, easier said than done. This takes practice to become a habit and eventually a lifestyle.
So, I must not let this momentum go to waste. As expected, the darkness lurking yesterday can come anytime to disrupt consistency, but I come prepared today, with what I currently have and what I can zealously offer. And so, I must envision (God willing) a decade from now, a year, a month, zooming further in, a week, a day, or even a moment from now, what is the "task" that I should do
"right" now?
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