Lessons in love

chapter 18- building from the bottom up

Waking up the next morning, dianne sat in the kitchen with her decaf coffee in hand. It was a feeling she had to get used too. A taste she couldnt enjoy as much, but to even just have a coffee at all was something she was grateful for since as the days went on she found herself feeling more weak and in pain from the life growing inside of her. Being a month now meant she was gradually beginning to feel less like herself. She hoped this would happen earlier for her though, so she could get all these feelings over and done with and then enjoy the rest of the pregnancy because thats what she wanted. She wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. She wanted it to be happy, she wanted them to be happy.

Taking those small sips, trying her best to stop any waves of nausea which luckily so far hadn't been that strong, joe strolled in.

They hadn't spoken much since yesterday. In no way did it end in an argument or they didn't ignore eachother, joe just knew she was upset. He didn't know how to approach her not knowing how she was thinking. Her sadness by now could of branched off into so many more emotions and he didnt want to upset her more. That was a big thing for him. He knew he had done so much already to hurt her and now she was carrying his baby, he wanted to show her how much he cared and how much he wanted to be a dad. His reaction made him feel guilty. He knew he should of supported her from that second, but he hadn't. He needed to make it up, that's what he had promised, but he was struggling to find how to do that. He had been keeping in his emotions to focus on hers because she and their baby was all he cared about. And if looking after them meant he was suppressing his own feelings then he wouldn't care how bad he felt. It was all about her.

"Hey"
She smiled at him as he came and join her with the left over cup of coffee she had left on the side that she didn't want.

"Hey, are you ok?"
He asked, arm coming around her as he kissed her cheek like he always did. Sometimes their affection would be clearer, sometimes on days like today it would be more stripped back.
She didn't seem up to it by Joe's analysis, she still looked sad.

"Yeah I'm good"

"Sure? Did you sleep good? You were tossing alot last night"
He asked sitting next to her.

"I slept fine, I'm just abit uncomfortable now. Beginning to get random pains and stuff which tells me they're definitely in there"
She placed her hand on her still very flat stomach. Despite the existence of zero bump, it still felt special knowing that a life they had created was in there, growing away and that soon they would hopefully be happy with a baby in their arms that they could love whilst loving eachother.

"Well that's what you need isn't it. It's a healthy sign that you dont feel well. You are ok though Yeah, it's not unbearable?"
He asked her.

"Yeah its fine, it's just like a weaker version of period pains which over the weeks will I guess get more painful"
She told him.

"Do you maybe want to go out for breakfast since you feel ok?"
He asked nervously. He wanted to create time for them. He didn't want to waste anything and he was prepared to create those opportunities.

"I'd love that"
She smiled. That made her happy. It showed that he wanted to spend time with her and focus on just the two of them and making memories.

"Thanks joe"
She looked at him, those eyes captivating her just like they always did and in the same way their first did in that rehearsal room five years ago. Out of everyone there in that room, all those pros and celebrities that had come together for their first day of learning that all important group dance where the public would set their favourites based on those initial first few steps, she was drawn to him. Those eyes got her right from the start. The way they looked at hers right from the beginning made her fall so quickly. They were her favourite part of him. His eyes. She was in love with them.