Lessons in love

chapter 21- i cant do this without you

For probably only the second time in a whole week, joe was out of the spare room, eating something which hadn't been ordered in. Sitting at the table in the kitchen on his own, he felt alone. Not a single word between the two of been bad been exchanged in a week. They acted as if the other didn't exist. He felt helpless. He knew there was no right time to make up or say sorry. She needed her time and he needed his. He did see some hope though. He knew if he didnt, he would not be in the same house as her right now, but that didn't stop it being tense. This had been going on for a while now. For two whole weeks. In that time she had gone from being 5 weeks pregnant to 7 weeks, and it had been the height of her morning sickness. He felt guilty just listening to her be ill from afar but she didn't want anything to do with him at that moment. Something needed to change and neither of them knew how. It needed to happen soon though. There was really no reason as to why they were staying together. They hadn't spoken in a whole week.

He had blocked her out so much that he didn't even realise her walk into the kitchen, filling up a very large water bottle. Eventually he did lift his head though to only see her fully dressed, shoes and makeup on, almost as if she was leaving.

"Where are you going?"
He asked, the first exchange between them in 7 long painful days.

"Out..."
She looked at him bitterly.

"Where?"
He tried to stay calm. He wanted to try and make peace with her again. He missed her.
She didn't respond for a while, instead gulping down big sips of her water, completely ignoring him once again.
She turned to him after a few minutes, nervously looking over to his direction.

"I've erm...I've got a scan"
She broke to him.
She was clearly scared to tell him, worried he would be angry as she didn't tell him about her very first ultrasound. It was meant to be a special moment for the both of them. The first time they see their baby and hear the heart beat and she hadn't told him.

"You didn't mention anything about it to me"
He told her.

"I know. It only got booked since we stopped talking"
She spoke sadly. Almost as if she regretted not saying anything. A part of her wanted him there. It was a very important moment. She was extremely lucky to get a scan before 12 weeks, it was important that he should be there. But then again they weren't on the best of terms.

"How long have you got?"
He asked.

"My appointments at 11"
She told him quietly.
Standing up he wondered over to her, placing his hand on her waist once he reached her. She looked down not knowing if she loved this or wanted to run away. She felt so many differnt feelings towards him. Not one was love though.

"If I get ready quickly..."
He began speaking softly.
"Please can I come with you?"
He asked her.
He wanted this. He wanted them to obviously be happy together but he obviously wanted to also see his baby. This was a huge moment. They were their first child and he didn't want to miss this for the world.

Gazing up at him, joe immediately noticed the tears running down diannes cheeks.

"What's wrong?"
He asked, a panicked tone in his voice as he worried he had upset her.

"I'd like to go to this one on my own...."

She took a deep breath not wanting to anger him.

"Please"
She contuined.

Knowing it would make her happy and feel more comfortable, he simply nodded in agreement, his heart breaking inside though.

"Ok...."
He tried to fight back his tears, only just about managing to hold them in.