LOSING MATE

12-PLAN TO LEAVE

I broke contact and looked down. How did I feel? About me? and my family is gone. I have no one. That sudden thought caused my heart to squeeze painfully.

"I'm not okay." There's no sense in saying 'I'm fine' when I'm totally not. And it didn't exactly help that my heart told me I couldn't lie to him.
I jumped at feeling a hand grasp my chin gently. Kurt is now suddenly sitting in the chair to my left. He lifted my chin until my face was staring at his.
"It will get better; I swear it will." My eyes teared up at his words.
"How do you know?" A sad smile etched itself on his face. Pulling his hand away to grasp one of my shaking hands as his other hand grasped my free one. He spoke with such care and promise.
"Because I'll be here for you."
The Alpha wants me? Why? I wasn't even mad that I was begging to leave his place. But believing the words, "He is my mate?" is so crazy.
I visited Kurt's office to talk to him. I'm asking him, "What do I want to know about werewolf life?" and "Who are they? I was willing to try this whole mate thing.
I was about to start my questions, but his phone rang, and he excused himself from me to attend the call from another line.
As he left, I noticed a leather notebook on his table. I've seen him writing something on it since I got in. I sat in a chair behind her, but there was something that pushed my mind to grab the leather notebook. So, unintentionally, I got to read his notes. I notice that it is all his diary. Does he love writing his diary? On the first and second pages, it's all about family bonding and his friends, but the third page caught my attention.
I will do anything to have her stay with me. I hated to see her tears. I want to remove that pain from her.
I sat in front of her like a child, waiting for her answer. She stayed silent, and I wanted nothing more than to just hold her in my arms and tell her that we'd work out and that we'd be good for each other.
Her silence was slowly killing me. Trying to save myself and my wolf the ounce of pride we had left, I got up and walked out of my bedroom. I guess my pack and I were going to suffer.
Did he mean that I was this girl? what da...
"A pack meeting was being held in my office that was in my house. It was a couple miles away from my house. But I wanted to avoid leaving you alone, so I decided to hold it here," Kurt said when he returned to his office.
I avoided the topic of "leaving" as much as I could. It seemed like a trauma to me. My heart says that only Kurt can reduce the pain inside of me. But my mind is telling me that they are not humans; they are a stranger who cannot be trusted. I have to leave.
"I need to inform my pack and introduce you. And it is for you also to find out the existence of our kind; they'd probably lose control and try to harm you. But don't worry, you will be safe with me." Kurt said.
The topic became so hot. So I told him that I needed to get outside, and he grabbed my arm and pretty much dragged me to his backyard. I couldn't lie and say this place wasn't beautiful, because it was. Since it had gotten dark out, he had lights illuminating the place.
We decided that we should take that time to get to know each other. How were we supposed to try this relationship thing if I didn't have the guts to ask him for something?
I went on telling him that I am 19 years old, and because of what happened, I have no idea where I am going or how to continue my life without my parents.
Kurt promised that he would let me continue my studies, but he wanted me to take my classes online because of the dangers that came with being his mate.
"Shakira, are you alright?" he asked.
My thoughts ended up disappearing as I felt my cheeks warm up at how much I liked him saying my name.
Finally finding my voice, I mumbled my question, but obviously he didn't understand what I said.
"You're going to laugh, and this may make me look or sound stupid, but what is your name?"
Laughter filled the yard, and I felt myself grow embarrassed. I should have just asked someone else. He must have sensed my feelings because his laughter died down.
"You have every right to ask that question. I'm disappointed in myself for not realizing this earlier. My name is Alden Urdanzo, and I'm 22 years old. But since you want to call me "Kurt," then it's fine for me." He explained
"Alden." I tested his name on my tongue.
He growled lowly, causing me to jump away. When I looked up at him, I could see lust swiveling in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as he saw my scared expression.
"I'm sorry, Shakira, but you have no idea how much effect you have on me. I'm not going to lie; I want you, but I promised, I will never force you into any sexual relations until I know you're comfortable and ready for it," he said. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I was never good with guys.
Kurt walked up to me and cupped my cheeks. He let out a low growl that rumbled through his chest and said,
"Your innocence is killing me."
I felt myself blush even more after hearing what he said. He pulled me into his embrace, leaving my head to rest on his muscular chest. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"From now on, I will call you Alden in front of them, but in my heart, you will still be my Kurt," I said.
"It's good to hear that. I want you to stay beside me, no matter what. I have one more question. Do you trust me?"
My heart seemed to bind down in weight to silence.
"I don't think so, but I feel that... I feel that I need you."