Black Widow | 18+

15 | Decisions

Leandro 

I hated socialising. 

Especially this kind of socialising, when I was totally absorbed by something else, someone else. 

It was crazy to think that I was getting married when the woman I was in love with had just vanished into thin air. I wanted to find her, to plead with her, to let her know that I would do anything to make her happy, but I couldn't.

Not because I literally couldn't, because I definitely could. Especially if she was in Sicily. 

I chose not to because I knew that if I tracked her down and didn't give her the space she wanted it would only make things worse. 

Artemisia never showed any sign of wanting to discuss my upcoming marriage, she never cared for the marriage itself, but she was more indirectly vocal about my choice of Fiancé. 

It wasn't my fucking choice. She knew that now too. 

But, all that being said, it felt like Artemisia still didn't care, or didn't care enough to call me back or let me know that she was fucking alive. 

I knew she wanted me as I did her though, she wouldn't have expressed her hurt towards me, been vulnerable with me, slept with me, if she didn't have the same feelings I did. Artemisia wasn't the kind to get involved in relationships when they involved emotional connection, but she did with me. 

I knew she cared but I was still losing the plot. 

So, yesterday when Luiz was at the brunt of my growing anger, he decided to tell me the truth. 

"You were trained to be the opposite of this. Women have no place in affecting your mentality, regardless of what they mean to you. You've got to put a stop to it, it's affecting your game."

He was right, I hadn't been the same. I'd missed meetings for potential deals and sent Domenico or Luiz, not shown up to internal ones when I was needed, been short with everyone, and even threatened a man I knew needed no provoking. 

It had to stop. 

So here I was, sat amongst my men who ran Italy for me, but whose focus had been taken off work and placed onto my wedding that would happen in three days time. They were cajoling me, saying it was about time the Boss got married, and I agreed but if only they knew I was marrying the wrong fucking person. 

And the right person was somewhere in my vicinity, and out of respect I was still holding back on finding her. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I was in love for the first time, and I would sacrifice myself for her.  

"Leo, you heard me?" Luiz asked, snapping me out of my daze. "We're going to the Boterosco's tonight, might get to see the woman Pietro won't shut the fuck up about."

"You know her! Carina!" Pietro exclaimed, "Plus, Romulo picked up her friend. I haven't seen him so off his game since we were twelve, pretty sure she'll be there tonight as well if she doesn't go out with Carina."

I chuckled with a shake of my head. I could relate to that feeling, I experienced it more often than not these days. 

"That's true, he won't shut up about her either." Michele sighed, "understandable though." 

"What's her name?" Luiz enquired innocently

"Angela? Anastasia? Cazzo, what was it?" Michele deliberated 
(Italian: Fuck)