A life of rules and constraints is tortuous. It kills us from inside. Yet rules are meant to be followed more so if you are the ruler. You are supposed to be an example and inspiration.
Syera Annabelle Florence the crowned princess of Silenus was t...
If only I could ever feel any of these emotions. It is not that it unnecessary. But I logically think that my father would have had a better life if I could be normal enough to feel even an ounce of emotion. I ask myself the question again and again.
If I could just feel... would mom have done all those things? Would she have, as she put it, 'suffered by staying away from my father?'
In the twenty seven years of my existence I have never ever felt any form of affection or hatred for anyone. The closest I have reached to feeling is probably respect towards my father, loyalty towards Xavier and pleasure after an orgasm.
I maybe the perfect billionaire, the perfect CEO and the perfect son to the public. But reality is that I don't even know if I am human. Humans are social creatures. But the first rule to be social is to feel.
I don't feel defective by any means. But my therapist does suggest some rather ineffective and meaningless actions. That I find no profit from even when I try my hardest to understand why? Why should I even do it? Apart from the fact that I am attending this load of bullshit as a promise to my father before he took his last breath.
The reason I am alive and have a better life.
I am wrenched out of my trail of thoughts as Aria asks her next question.
"Have you seen any improvements?"
"No."
She shook her head while proceeding to scribble notes into her diary. Then she looks up at me again and let out a sigh of exhaustion.
"Koa, you promised Late master Callisto that you would try."
"And that is why I am trying. I haven't missed a single session till date. Nor have I cut them short. I follow your load of bullshit too."
"Well following it does mean anything. If you don't want to actually start feeling anything."
"That is the problem Aria I can't feel. That is why I am seeing you, a therapist. That is why I adopted a dog. That is why I indulge in Charity. It is all because of the instructions you gave me."
"If I said to go jump off a cliff would you do that too?"
"Aria..." I felt myself warning her.
"The only reason I haven't pulled out your tongue for what you just said is that I consider you as a friend."
I saw her gulp in fear. She hastily took a sip of water. And looked over again at my impassive face.
"Sorry, that was unprofessional of me. I shouldn't comment on your life or personal choices."
My phone starts ringing just when I was going to reply. Xavier's name flashes on the screen.
I sigh. What does this guy even want? Does he like torturing me with these phone calls. Just to get a reaction he never will.
"Let's stop this here today. I have an important call to attend."
I stand up from my chair while adjusting the buttons of my suit and walk towards the door. Just when I am about the leave. Aria's voice halts my actions for just a fraction of a second.
"I know the first emotion you will ever feel is regret. Regret of losing the one person who meant the world you."
I process her words.
Regret?
I didn't even feel pity or mercy for myself or my father. Whom I believe was the most important person in my life.
"Unfortunately... there is no such person like that who exists now or ever in my life."
And I walk out of the room.
I pick up the still vibrating phone.
"Callisto... meet me at the polo club."
Typically Xavier never cut straight to the chase. Was something wrong.
Life is a pattern. And the moment a pattern breaks. It is mostly for the awaiting doom to befall upon them.
"Give me thirty."
We end the call without a single greeting.
When I finally walk inside the polo club thirty minutes later. I see Xavier sitting in the private VVIP lounge. I mean the fucker runs this place from the Russian Bratva's money. Being the heir and next pakhan had its own perks.
I walk inside his lounge and take the seat in front of him.
"Why did you call me here... Sokolov?"
He finally looks up from his iPad. And then a huge grin breaks out on his face.
"Did you see the world news today?"
"I didn't know you called me all the way here to ask if I am aware of the current affairs. But to answer your question. No I haven't."
His grin grows even wider.
"Do you remember where your father's business started hitting the roof?"
I felt my eyebrows draw closer to each other. What is he implying? Why can't I understand what is going on in this guy's head ever? He is an anomaly. More so than even me.
"Silenus..."
He swivels in his chair and turns on the television.
"Now it is time to be updated with current affairs my dear dear Koa."
He says. His voice resembling the purring of a cat... It sounded taunting but harmless.
But there was one mistake a person should never make. That is assume Xavier Sokolov to be anything close to harmless. He is Vicious. Demanding. Ruthless. Authoritative and most of all Merciless.
This playful demeanour was nothing but a trap to draw in it's prey.
The words coming from the television felt like a blur until. I heard.
"The crown for the next queen will be prepared by Callisto Conglomerates."
My head snapped towards the television. I had never confirmed this deal. When did it even happen? Xavier must have known that. That is why he was being so smug about the whole scenario.
I pick up my phone and call my secretary. I am sure it had something to do with him.
"Hello? Yes Mr.Callisto..."
"Did you approve the Silenus crown contract?"
" Yes... I did sir. It was one of the deals which was both profitable financially and culturally."
"I didn't ask for an explanation. You did well. When is the meeting with 'The Royals'?"
"Tomorrow at noon."
"Keep the flight ready for three people."
Xavier finally looks at me with confusion.I tell Jaiden while smirking at Xavier.
"Mr.Sokolov will be accompanying our little trip to Silenus."
I see the colour drain from his face and most of all his face harden like steel. This is what you get for playing with me.
