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Thank you so much for participating in the awards. The entries all had something truly unique or special about them. However, there can only be one winner and just like a good steak, our judges must trim the fat.
Below, are the second round results for Dark Romance.
Good luck to those continuing and thank you for your efforts to those who didn't make it through.
Poppy_Rusert - A TWISTED LOVE - Tempted Character/s Introduction: 5/10 Genre Fit: 8/10 Grammar/Mechanics: 4/10 Details: 5.5/10 Total: 22.5/40
Notes: First of all, you have a BEAUTIFUL writing style. There are many sentences in your book that left me in awe of their creativity and how well you chose the words. Show this off with more descriptions! You have your own unique, lyrical talent and I think you need to exploit that better. Paint a picture of the setting - don't waste your time explaining how many buildings there are in NYU, tell me what they look like and what it feels like to stand at their feet, how proud they make Mira feel for achieving this and living her dream.
Unfortunately, the grammar and mechanics take away some of the enjoyment. There are many choppy sentences, tense changes, and words that aren't used properly. These are things most editing softwares wouldn't catch, so I'd recommend getting a reader/friend to help you find those and fix them.
Another little grievance I have are the characters. They come off as a little one-dimensional. Nina is the spoiled brat, Kelly is the mean bitch... Mira, with her double identity, is by far the most interesting character so far, which is normal since she's the main one, but even villains deserve some depth, it makes them more realistic.
I would also suggest showing their behaviors instead of simply telling them through Mira's point of view. For example, if Mira tells us that Kelly is dressed in vulgar clothes and is an insufferable coworker, then Mira might come across as mean and judgemental. However, if you describe Kelly's clothes and how she uses them to flash her boobies to any man who walks by, and make her feel insufferable through the dialogue, then the reader will come to that conclusion on their own. And then they're the judgemental ones. So far, the book seems more like erotica than a dark romance, but I see some space for that intrigue to grow. Good luck with your writing journey!
You are talented, and once you edit this book, it'll go far.
Notes: DISCLAIMER: I read your book and wrote this review after a long, exhausting day at work. I realize now that I might come off a little cranky. Sorry :(
