We hope that you've enjoyed your time in the competition!
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Without further ado, here are the final results!
Vaksani Dharmã : The song of Mahabharat by panchxlratna Writing style: 8/10 Plot: 7/10 Creativity: 9/10 Conflict:8/10 Organization: 5/10 Character Development: 7/10 Total: 44/60 Notes: For Mrithika's perspective, I would have liked to be more immersed. She's a girl that has been transported 5,000 years in the past and this alone would have given you so much opportunity to play with details and scenery. What are the sights? The smells? I think we get a good look into her emotions and headspace, but it's so important to utilize the senses and that's something I didn't see a lot of going forward in your book. When judging writing style, I want to see more detail.
There were also quite a few grammar mistakes that took me out of the story (I didn't take off a lot for this because I'm still on writing style), but it seems like after the fourth chapter, the chapters were rushed and not double checked for grammatical consistency. An example would be in the beginning of chapter six, your opening sentence is, "Mrithika couldn't believe at the fact that Sahadev was a fast learner." There were also tense changes that need to be corrected throughout the story too. "Taught" was also replaced with "thought." Things like that.
The plot is good, but it can be hard to follow because there is a lot going on and a lot to keep track of. A similar story I would recommend to you is Inuyasha. It follows a girl who is also transported through time and has a cohesive story that introduces characters methodically and makes it easier to follow. So, this also ties into organization. The plot right now is very disorganized and hard to follow. It's also very dialogue heavy (externally and internally). Set the scene. Give more detail.
The conflict is central to Mrithika being transported 5,000 years into the past and navigating that. A lot of the issues stem from Mrithika's place as a woman. There's a lot of sexism and misogyny she combats throughout the story. This really helps as her character develops. I see her becoming even more stronger and I appreciate that.
One side note I'll also add is to break the chapters into sections instead of changing POV in the middle of chapters.
THIRD PLACE:
All The Colors We Missed by onlinewings Writing style: 8/10 Plot: 8/10 Creativity: 8/10 Conflict: 8/10 Organization: 9/10 Character Development: 9/10 Total: 50/60 Notes: At its surface, the WRITING STYLE is fairly standard: two main POVs, third-person limited, slow-burn character portraits. The flavor is in how the characters' head and hearts are being depicted. The style is well suited to the genre, a contemporary drama where both Nixie and Rhys (mostly Nixie in my opinion) are forced to grapple with the traumas of William Mace's crimes. The descriptions of these characters are tremendously rendered. We're given a full depiction of the small town of Chatsworth. The style suits the story well. The only hiccup with the chosen style is that you could get a little lost in the details. There are a ton of named characters, most of which I could identify clearly if you gave me a pop quiz, but definitely needed a lot of concentration to keep track of, especially since there's so much focus on Nixie, Rhys, and Owen.
