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Without further ado, here are the final results!
The Withered Kingdom, tpmwrites Writing Style: 7/10 Plot: 4/10 Creativity: 8/10 Conflict: 8/10 Organization: 6/10 Character Development: 4/10 Total: 37/60 Notes: This story started out quite strong; it seemed as though a coming of age story surrounding Lorne and Porter (her dad), but I felt the foundations of their relationship weren't given enough time to blossom before a series of events rapidly happened after: she steals her father's sword, a friend tells a ghost story that just so happens to be true, and then the events from said ghost story happen in Dorser, their city. It all just felt rather quick, and especially with the swift death of her father, I felt as though I needed more of a foundation to cling to. The cast of characters is interesting, but I found myself not really caring a whole lot about what they had to say. I didn't feel an attachment to them, perhaps because it felt as though I was tossed into different moments in the plot and their relationships were not established before things started to happen. Sure, death and battles are epic and cool and whatnot, but I couldn't find any reason to care for these kids.
The worldbuilding was good at the start, and could still use some fleshing out, and bits and pieces are put together as we move deeper into the plot. The most fascinating thing to me was the onyx veins in different items (the sword, ring, necklaces etc). But in other ways I felt like all this new information about magic and the sword and the ghost story were too conveniently explained right before those details became relevant. The pacing felt a bit too rapid-fire, a bit too hurried.
I can see the plot slowing now that the kids have made it to Styg, but the first 8 or so chapters felt like a fever dream; SO much happened. My recommendations for the author as they move forward would be to give the reader some more time to warm up to characters, and ease us into the plot rather than make it feel like elements are conveniently bending to accompany the events happening in the plot.
I did enjoy the descriptions, and while I did find typos, the writing itself wasn't difficult to read. There were times when I thought a few paragraphs were a bit too lengthy, but I am also all for varying lengths. I hope Lorne and the gang get their revenge (or not; maybe Lorne will remember what her dad said, and won't do anything rash!).
The Apprentice and the Lost City, justalex99 Writing Style: 8/10 Plot: 6/10 Creativity: 9/10 Conflict: 8/10 Organization: 8/10 Character Development: 6/10 Total: 45/60 Notes: This story, as I mentioned before, is very charming. I can imagine characters are 2D cartoons flitting around and acting all cozy and cute, which is a great vibe. As I continued to read to chapter 10, I did notice some lulls in story, however; the pacing is quite slow. We follow an adorable magic-manic Emma Marsh, who is chosen by Merlin's wand, and becomes the Grand Apprentice to the Grand Mage, Peridot. The cast of characters is fun; Emma's dad is definitely a close second to Peridot – literally dad goals. However, the conflicts brought up seem to be a bit stagnant. I love the coziness of this story, and I understand the undercutting plot is Emma's journey to witch-hood, but by chapter 10, not much has happened outside of an elf-looking Egg Thief, a thief who broke into an untrustworthy Mr. Toft's shop, and a bunch of kids bullying Emma. Now, I understand that the softer side of this book may cater towards a slower-moving plot, but I think that meeting Willow earlier on would have intrigued me more, and would've propelled the plot forward.
