RUDY STARK - SPIDERVENOM

LOST CAUSE

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I woke up in a cold sweat. Breathing heavily. I looked around frantically. I was in my apartment. I felt my face, and it was wet. Tears. Fear and pain.

My breathing started to sharpen as soon as my body started to shake aggressively. More tears flooded from me. I looked down at my shaking hands.

"Stop. Stop. Stop. Go away."

I grabbed my head and pulled my knees up to my chest. I rocked myself back and forth.

"Stop, please" I cried.

Alone and helpless. I didn't know whether that dream was real or not. It felt so... real. Like they were really there. Alive. I missed them, and it was my fault that they were gone. And Uncle Ben. I wished he was here. To give me advice and comfort me. To show me how to keep going to push this aside and feel okay.

"I need you, I need you, I need you." I curled myself up and felt like my body was suffocating.

Pain developed in my chest. I held onto it to brace myself. I was drowning. More than I even understood.

"Come back to me."

That's all I wanted. I wanted my family back. I wanted to be at home with dad, going to a stupid donut shop for no reason and going on dates with Harry as a normal couple. To watch Star Wars with Jay again and to play outside with Poison. I wanted to help Rhodey with his recovery. Go on missions with Nat. Swing around the city with Peter. 

"Breathe. It's okay."

I jumped at Matthew's sudden hand on my shoulder. I must've forgotten he was there.

"Shut up with your stupid 'it's okay'. IT'S NOT OKAY!" I stood up and stormed out of the apartment.

I slammed the door shut behind me and was about to leave when I saw an ambulance by Wayne's door.

Pure shock.

"Charlie?" I peered into the door.

Charlie was talking to a few workers as Wayne was being put on a stretcher. My eyes stayed latched onto Wayne. Charlie saw me and excused himself. He pushed past people and pushed me out of the room carefully.

"I'm so sorry, Gwen. He's... he's gone."

"But - But he had two more.. two more weeks. You said."

"It was sudden. Just a couple of hours ago."

I stared at Wayne, lifeless.

I got too close.

I got too close.

I had no more tears left to cry, and all I could do was feel the bottled up emotions finding a way out.

Charlie tried to bring me in for a hug. I pushed him off and walked away. As I did, I heard Matthew conversing with Charlie behind me. I picked up my pace and jumped out of the window from an angle they wouldn't see. I webbed the building and swung myself up. I was going back to my tower. As I swung, the cold winter air dried the tears that were stained onto my face. I climbed the tower to land up at the top.