𝑨 𝑻𝑶𝑼𝑪𝑯 𝑶𝑭 𝑫𝑨𝑹𝑲𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖𝟐: 𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐀 𝐏𝐨𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧

"...REIMAGINE THE PROPERTIES of not only themselves, but also what they eventually become." Alyssa snorted at the book Severus held whilst flattening down a patch of soil. "Now, that is funny."

He closed the book and placed it back within his cloak, inwardly smirking at the note that originally came with his version. He remained stood in his place as Alyssa pottered around the herbology gardens, adjusting plants and their limp leaves, dousing the occasional one in water.

"Agreed." He said almost absentmindedly. "I must admit, upon first reading it, I did think of your aconite plant."

Alyssa feigned shocked hurt as she put down her watering can and removed her gloves that had grown sticky against her skin. "May I remind you that I was given the thumbs up by the Department of Ingredients to do that as part of my application to Beauxbatons."

She guided an ample set of potted mandrakes back in his direction. "Need I also say that I had my license for it?" She removed a single pot from the bunch. "Which, by the way, excruciatingly painful to get ahold of. I waited for months for that piece of paper." She exasperatedly dusted a stray strand of hair from her eyelashes. "Four months feels the equivalent to eight in a world ran by magic!"

Severus couldn't help but ponder that her initial feigned hurt had morphed itself into truth.

"How is it coming along?"

"It grows and it glows." She shrugged her shoulders defeatedly. "I've tested it alongside other draughts but not much luck has come from it. It seems as though the plant now has its own properties that can counteract the disturbances made by new draughts I soak the soils with..." She gestured down to his cloak. "Much like your book, I suppose."

Admittedly, that hadn't been the response Severus anticipated in his mind. Though he sensed that Alyssa had moved away from that conversation not long after speaking.

"Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be teaching your classes instead of Lilith?"

Her name alone shoved enough torment down his throat to keep him quiet.

After breakfast in the Great Hall she had taken it upon herself to confess how she had been feeling. She cried a little and then a lot, feeling foolish in the intimacy of his arms as she talked about despising herself and all that she couldn't do.

"I have a mind but I don't see anymore room. I'm running out of space and inked anger doesn't feel the same."

He held her close, wondering if she knew how much he loved her. Whether it was just a little or just enough. He desired more than anything to clear her mind, to absolve her from the malevolence of knowledge. It seemed she only realised the extent of her depletion when she begged Severus to read her mind, to separate anything he thought to be useful from all that was not, and eliminate those same futile thoughts completely.

'You don't mean that.' He spoke against her head, the weight of his voice sending affirming vibrations down her body.

"I know." She sighed. "But maybe you could do it when I'm not expecting it? Just quick and easy, done and dusted. Consider me new and shiny again."

"To consider you new and shiny again would imply that I think you're bleak and rotten already. You're neither of those things, Lilith. A little lost perhaps, but that doesn't mean we won't find you again."

The shrieking cries of a mandrake disturbed his mind. He turned his vision to Alyssa who now scrambled at the spilt soil of a plant pot, the culprit of such wails hovered in the air in her grasp.
Alyssa's face remained upturned until she repotted the mandrake, flustered in her motions as she faced Severus who seemed unfazed.