Chapter Thirty-Six: What Can I Do To Help?

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|Shawn|

Circa late 1999

Rebecca, as always, was already on my ass about the pills. I kept telling her I'd quit, but just like Kat, she wouldn't give it up.

"You promised me you'd be here for me and the baby," she demanded.

"I'll quit by the time the baby comes. Don't worry about it."

I waved her off like usual. Since she got pregnant, Rebecca had been on my ass to change even more than before. To be honest, the thought of having a kid terrified me. I hadn't quite accepted it.

Curious and just wanting to tune her out, I turned on Raw for the first time in a long time.

Just my luck, the very first person I saw was Kat. I had to admit, she still had it. She hadn't aged a day, and she looked as beautiful as ever.

God, I needed to stop thinking about her.

"Who's that?" Rebecca asked, following me into the living room.

"No one," I said quickly.

As soon as I said that, Kat's nameplate appeared onscreen.

Rebecca took a seat on the arm of the couch, right beside me. " 'Katherine McMahon'," she read, "This is the girl you're always talking about?"

"I'm not always talking about her."

She shot me a look. "Yes, you are. It's at least every month. You're always talking about, 'When Kat and I were together...' Or 'Oh, when Kat and I did this...'." We watched Kat wrestle for a while before she said, "Well, she is pretty."

I nodded. If I were a smart man, I would have realized this was a trap. Unfortunately, I didn't. "She's beautiful."

"You love her, don't you?"

The question caught me off guard. "I--I don't--what?"

"You love her." She looked ready to blow up on me, so I hurried to mend the situation.

I shut off the TV and stood to face her. "I love you," I insisted. "And our baby."

"No, you don't. You look at me, and you think about her."

I hadn't thought about it. I had tried to move on from Kat, to push her from my mind, but maybe Rebecca was right.

"All you do is go out to the bar and come back here to take more pills," she spat, breaking me from my trance.

"What do you want me to do, Becca?"

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