State of Love and Trust |Eddie Vedder

New Years 1991

I am going to put a trigger warning ⚠️
This chapter contains attempted rape

Not seeing Eddie around was starting to become the normal for me. I was no longer phased nor concerned. It was New Years Eve and my time here in Seattle was coming to an end. Soon I will be on a plane to head back home, back to my boring life, where choices were made for me. Jamie struggled in letting me go but yet he has no clue that once we go back to our comfortable lives, I was going to live my life without him. Staying in Seattle with Chris had opened my eyes and reminded me of the love and passion of music that I had. Think I may stick with it.

Chris and I decided to spend some quality time together, getting out of the apartment and enjoy the semi nice day that Seattle had to offer us. "So are you really going to leave and head back to San Diego?" Chris had asked as we waited for our coffee. I sighed, I wasn't looking forward to it honestly. I loved my new life here in Seattle. I was enjoying my job and seeing Chris every day. It reminded me when we were kids and I forgot how much he meant to me.

I looked over at him, seeing that he was waiting for my answer. "Man, I am not even sure what I should do anymore. I don't have a choice Chris. I had already extended this trip and my life is back in California." I could see that what I said disappointed him. I wish I could put him in my suit case and take him home with me. We grabbed our coffee and made our way outside to the busy streets. "So don't forget that tonight we have a show." When Chris told me that Temple of The Dog was to perform for New Years, I grew irritated. This meant I had to face Eddie when I had finally convinced myself that he was not who I thought he was.

I rolled my eyes thinking he couldn't see but I was wrong. Chris knotted his brows and looked down at me, "Listen here short shit, I need you on this. There was a reason why I waited till you got here to ask you to be apart of this band Lemon." His explanation threw me off. "Wait, I never asked to be apart of any band Chris. What are you talking about? Are you telling me that you had this planned out the whole time?" I asked. Chris rubbed the back of his neck as he rolled her shoulders. "Lennon, I missed you. It comes down to exactly that. It just so happened that you held a gift that I selfishly needed. I love you Lemon and you are family. So sue me if I want to keep you with me." He looked down at his feet.

Hearing him confess to missing me softened me up. I had missed him just as much. I guess that was why I attached myself so much to Jamie when I had. I was desperate to have a male figure in my life. I stepped up to my friend and hugged his mid due to the height difference, my 5'3 to his 6'2. "I'll be there." I mumbled against his shirt,feeling him tighten his arm around me. "Good because you really had no choice. Sorry." Chris laughed and we began to make our way back towards the apartment.

The moment we walked through the door I could already tell that Stevie was ready to lash out to Jamie. "Lennon, you better keep this sorry excuse of a male away from me. I have had enough!" She threw her hands up out of frustration while Jamie stood there looking bored with his arms crossed. Chris frowned and looked between the two, "What happened?" Jamie went to open his mouth but Chris shut him up by holding his finger at him. "No. I want to hear it from her." He nodded towards Stevie. I stood by and became concerned, what had Jamie done?

Stevie took a deep breath and tried to relax herself. "I have had it with his high maintenance and feeling of entitlement." Chris chuckled, "Yeah sounds about right." Jamie placed his hands on his hips and stared over at Stevie. "I pray that when Lennon and I start living together that you won't be around as much." Now it was my turn to laugh. Jamie looked over confused. "Jamie, that is a very far stretch for you to assume that you and Lennon will be living together in the near future or in fact in any alternate universe at all." Stevie smiled. My best friend knew me.