State of Love and Trust |Eddie Vedder

Some People Are Better Left Behind

The next day we packed everything up and headed back to my Aunts. I needed to start getting things ready for my move to Seattle. Eddie parked my Aunts truck behind mine before getting out and making our way towards the garage where we dumped everything inside.

"Not sure how long you got to talk with my Aunt before stealing her truck but let's go say hi." I smiled and made my way into the house. "Only for a short while." We laughed, walking further in when we saw my Aunt sitting in the living room with someone. Our presence startled them both as my Aunt shot up from the couch, her demeanor changing from the happy woman I grew up knowing to someone who was nervous.

"Sorry did not mean to interrupt. We were just coming by to pack a few things before I head back tomorrow." I waved nervously, eyeing from my Aunt to the mystery man who was still sitting down. "Hi Eddie." My Aunt greeted, earning a subtle wave from Eddie who stood directly behind me. I could see my Aunt was uncomfortable which made me concerned. "Everything alright Aunt Laura?" I finally asked. Finally releasing a breath as she rubbed her hands on her jeans, "Lennon..."

The man was concentrating solely on me the whole time. "Lennon?" He finally spoke. My Aunt Laura looked over at him with an annoyed look. Who was this man? I knotted my brows and watched him stand from where he sat, seeing him study me. The stranger slowly approached me which frightened me. Eddie held his hand against my lower back, letting me know that he was there and that I was not alone. "Roger don't." My Aunt Laura warned just as this Roger stopped directly in front of me. Roger's eyes were the same shade as my Aunts and now that I was getting a good look at him, I could see that the two shared similarities besides eye color.

"You look so much like her." Roger eyed me entirely as though he was searching for someone in me. I looked towards my Aunt, did he mean her? "Who?" I questioned the man in front of me. Roger swallowed nervously, "Your mother." He answered. I was more confused than ever. "You knew my mother?" My mother had been gone for almost 22 years, how did he know her? I tried looking at Roger closely. "I would hope so because I am your father." Roger admitted like it was basic knowledge. "How dare you call yourself that Roger! You haven't been around for her. In fact you abandoned her." My Aunt Laura raised her voice.

This man was my father? Roger looked over his shoulder towards my Aunt, "That is because she is the reason why my Lillian is gone!" So he blamed me for my mother's death? The reason my father never wanted me was because he felt I was the cause of her death? "How can you blame her for that?" Eddie chimed in after hearing this man's reason for abandoning me. My Aunt rushed to my side after seeing the confusion on my face, I literally had no words. Roger glared at Eddie, "If the woman you have loved dies in front of you because she gave birth, you would be angry too! Don't you dare try to judge me boy."

Eddie pulled me into his side as he kept his head held high, showing Roger that he was not afraid of him. "If the woman I loved died giving birth to my child, I would honor her memory by protecting that child that we created together. I would never abandon my child. Only a coward would." Eddie replied. Looking up at Eddie, I watched his profile and saw that he meant every word. The respect I held for Eddie grew. Seeing Eddie stand up to my sperm donor gave me a little courage of my own. Turning back to look at Roger, I could see what Eddie had said cracked his armor a little. Roger was feeling weak.

"You are not my father. I am not your daughter. I have gone almost 22 years without you and I sure as hell don't need you now. I have people who care about me, who want to see me succeed in life. My father died along side my mother. That is where he stays." Even though I felt discouraged, my voice stayed strong. I was not going to allow this man to see me break. Eddie's hand squeezed my shoulder for moral support.

I could tell Roger had more to say but my Aunt Laura had enough. "Get out now Roger. As you can see we are doing just fine without you." She began to shove him out the front door till the door closed shut. "I am so sorry Lennon. I thought you both would be much later in showing back up here." My Aunt tried to apologize. "You don't need to apologize for that man Aunt Laura. I promise I am alright." I smiled as she pulled me into a hug. Eddie rubbed my back for comfort while he watched us embrace.