State of Love and Trust |Eddie Vedder

California Dreamin'

  Eddie dropped the mic onto the stage and held my face with both of his hands. Those beautiful blues captivating me while they held me under their gaze. "I love you..." Eddie smiled, causing those cheekbones to pop.

   I was stunned at what I had just heard, was it possible that I heard him correctly? Eddie laid his forehead against my own, our eyes never looking away. "I love you." he breathed. The smile that grew on my face couldn't be stopped, was this what happiness truly felt like? "I love you, Eddie..." I finally confessed. Eddie reflected a smile just as big as mine before pulling me in for a passionate kiss.

  That night in Ann Arbor, Michigan was one to remember. It was not just a huge step in my relationship with Eddie, but it was also a little history in the making for those who attended that show that night. Our relationship was now out there for all to see. The guys had time off for Christmas break, so I knew that I wanted to be back in California to see my aunt. I was missing her dearly. I needed time to be in a familiar place, around familiar faces.

   "Did you want to come back to San Diego with me for Christmas? We could drive down and stay with my aunt." finally asking the question that has been dreading my mind since their break had started. Eddie looked down at our hands that laid in his lap, we were eating an early lunch while we waited to board our plane. I grew worried as he sat in thought, never putting into consideration that maybe Eddie had other plans for Christmas. Would he even want to spend Christmas with me? Eddie looked up and smiled, "yeah I would love to. I would like to see my mother, maybe we could all have Christmas together? My brother Chris will be in town, and I know I would love to catch up with him and see how he has been."

   I could tell Eddie looked worried when he mentioned visiting his family, did he think I wouldn't want to meet them? Right then I knew I had nothing to feel nervous about because Eddie too was anxious. Our relationship was something new to the both of us, we were still trying to navigate through it, but at least we were doing it together.

  "That sounds like a perfect plan to me. We can load up Chris' car and leave early in the morning. The drive will take us a day and a half." I grew excited knowing that this was going to be our first road trip together, first of many, I hope. We both finished our food and started making our way towards our gate, hand in hand. The public display of our relationship left a little smile on my face. Once we finally reached our destination, we stood by as the flight crew began to announce seatings. Naturally I leaned into Eddie's arm and inhaled his masculine smell, finding comfort even in the smallest ways.

  I took this time to close my eyes and enjoy this short moment. Using my other senses to take Eddie in, how his hand felt in mine, his smell, hearing him randomly make small talk to me. I cherished it all. "You nervous at all?" Eddie questioned. I pulled away and looked up, taking in his gorgeous facial features. Where did I go right that allowed me to share this life with him? Why me? "Not anymore no." giving him a reassuring smile. Eddie smiled and turned his attention back on the flight staff. I looked around us and noticed a pair of teenage girls sitting not too far off from where we stood, they easily recognized Eddie as they giggled among themselves and pointed in his direction.

  I couldn't help but crack a smile back in their direction. Remembering how it felt to be that age once and crushing on a musical idol. One of the two saw me and turned red. This made me giggle which drew Eddie's attention back on me. Flight staff had finally called our seats before Eddie could ask me anything, "Ah that's us babe." pulling me to follow him. I shot a wink and waved at the two now embarrassed girls before boarding our flight. We flew into Seattle with the anticipation of our 20-hour drive to California ahead of us. Excited was all I could use to describe how I was feeling.