𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤; imagines

over it

word count: 786
your staying at barry's trailer when john b and jj take you to the cheateu and jj figures out what you did to yourself.

TW: mention of drugs, insecurities, and self harm.

it's been days since i've left my house. i've been staying at barry's, yea i know not the best decision. i just can't take it anymore, i don't wanna be alive. my parents keep fighting and i'm over it.

"hey girl, how much longer you gonna be here?" i hear barry say, as i finish the last of the pills he gave me. i groan a little as they start to kick in, making me feel a little lightheaded.

"i'll leave in a little barry, promise." i say as i exit the bathroom, stumbling onto his couch. i smile to myself as the pills are my escape from reality. they make me happy. i hear barry moving around the trailer, it sounds like he is on the phone.

"yo barry! i know she's in here." i hear a familar voice and gently lift my head, seeing a boy with blonde hair and a boy with light brown hair and a hat. 'shit..' i say to myself as i quietly head to the bathroom, locking the door.

"what? oh yo jj! wassup my dude." i hear barry say faintly, it sounds like they pushed him and walked in.
"y/n! where are you?" i make sure the cuts on my wrists and inner thighs are covered so they can't see. i begin to panic as tears fall down my eyes, they'll kill me if they knew how many pills i just took. i hear one of them, i think john b pushing on the door and trying to open it.

"i think she's in here jj, it's locked." i hear footsteps scurry in front of the door.
"y/n? hey it's me and john b we just want to help you. we went to your house but your parents said you haven't been home for a while.." jj says as a few tears fall down my face. i hear him try to open the door again as i sit against the wall.

"please open the door."
"she don't wanna see you man!" barry yells as he gets back up, pissed that the two basically broke into his house. i hear fighting, and panic more due to memories from when my parents fought. i immediately jump up unlocking the door seeing jj on top of barry, punching him repeatedly.

my breathing quickens as i see barry's face all bloody, as he's barely breathing.
"jj what did you do!" i say, as i check up on barry.
"were taking you home y/n." jj says as he wipes the blood from his knuckles on barry's shirt. i shake my head no, as i take a few steps backwards, almost stumbling from the pills i took not to long ago.

"look we can go back to the cheateu." john b says and i nod my head hesitantly.
"why are you wearing a hoodie in 90 degree weather?" jj says a little confused as he sees me dressed in a very oversized hoodie and a messy bun.

"i was cold.." i mumble, as i follow them to the twinkie as john b begins to drive back to the cheateu.

——

we arrive to the cheateu and i head to my room (a guest room that i claimed mine.) and closing the door, before taking my hoodie off to cool down a little. i hear someone walk in my room and i flinch, my cuts were revealed.

"when.. when did you do this.." jj says in shock as he slowly approaches me and gently grabs my arms to examine my wrists, before noticing their were also cuts on my inner thighs. i begin to cry as i feel a weight fall off my shoulders.

"for a while.. j i can't take this anymore.." i say as my voice cracks a little. he gently hugs me, repeatedly telling me he's sorry and that he wants to help me.

"ever since my parents started arguing about me, and i haven't felt pretty since god knows when. i feel so fucking ugly, and all these other girls like kie and sarah are so so pretty and" i ramble before jj hugs me tightly.

"why didn't you tell me.. i can help you. please don't do this again y/n. i love you so much, and your so gorgeous. don't call yourself ugly. please it breaks my heart seeing you like this." he says as he hugs me tightly.

"i..i love you too." i say as i hug him back, hiding my head in the crook of his neck. jj softly kisses the side of my head not letting go of me any time soon.