Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ IV ~

Blake

Dad wasn't kidding when he said I would feel weaker without my mate.

Fuck.

This was killing me.

I sat on the bottom step of the staircase, rested my elbows on my knees, hanging my head as my neck was finding it far too much to keep holding it up.

My legs were shaking. They had just about managed to hold me up while I'd walked down the stairs, but the second I'd stepped on the bottom step, they'd given up, and I'd sunk to the floor, not having the energy to sit up properly.

My head was heavy on my shoulders. I could barely keep it upright. My eyelids kept threatening to close as sleep was beckoning me.

Sleep had been calling me for a while now. All I wanted to do was sleep. And every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was soft brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes.

All I could see was him.

My body ached for him. Yearned for his touch. My ears strained to hear his voice again, that deep timbre that came only from his lips.

It had only been two days. But he was all I could think of. All I could see.

I wanted to see him.

No. I needed to see him.

To hear him.

To feel him.

To kiss him.

I didn't even know his name, yet I was obsessed with him already.

Was this what having a soulmate was like? Being so completely in awe of another that they consumed your thoughts, haunted your dreams?

And no matter how much blood I'd had since seeing him, I was still too weak. I couldn't go out hunting because my senses felt off. All my senses pointed to him and not my prey. I couldn't risk hunting for fear of being hurt myself. If my senses couldn't help me hunt, I was useless. I'd taken to drinking blood from the stores we had in the fridges in the mansion because I didn't trust my body to keep me safe if I left the confines of the old house.

My older sister had wandered into the kitchen earlier to find me guzzling from a blood bag. She'd patted me on the shoulder and given me one of her pitying looks that told me that Dad had explained to her what was going on with me. She hadn't said anything outright. Just squeezed me gently and ruffled my hair. Like she used to do when I was younger. Like she still did to me now, all these years later.

My mother had fussed over me for most of the day yesterday, squealing in excitement, telling me that she couldn't wait to meet my soulmate. She'd regaled me with stories of how she and my father had met, about how they'd instantly felt the attraction. Told me that she could give me tips on how to deal with my feelings.

I doubted any of them would help. I mean, she was with her soulmate, had been for years. They'd instantly felt the pull at their core and given into it.

How was I going to explain that to a human?

Groaning, I leaned all the way forward until my forehead hit my knees. I let my hands fall to my sides, my shoulders too weak to lift them. My eyes were slowly closing, the lids feeling too heavy to keep open.

"Man, you look like shit." The voice of one of my best friends floated to my ears. I groaned louder. "Are you going to sit on the stairs all day?"

A nudge to my shoulder. I was too weak to nudge back.

Fuck.

"What's gotten into you?" Gabriel asked after he'd realised that yes, I did look like shit and yes, I was planning on sitting here all day.