Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ X ~

Cameron

I pulled the hood of my hoodie lower over my eyes and then shoved my hands deeper into the pockets of my jeans as I stomped along the walkway, dodging people who were out on the streets, laughing and talking, enjoying the summer evening air, without a care in the world.

It was still warm outside. The heat of the day was rising from the concrete of the city streets, making the air sticky and thick, almost difficult to breathe.

A bead of sweat trickled from my damp hair and down my cheek. I wiped it away and shivered.

The same strange feeling in the pit of my stomach just wouldn't go away, no matter what I did to try to distract myself.

After Evan had left, promising me that he would see me another time, I sat in the coffee shop next door to my apartment, nursing a mocha, killing time. And the whole time I'd sat there, my stomach was twisting and my senses felt like they were on fire.

My fingers were very sensitive to the heat of the coffee mug. Every little noise in the coffee shop, from a whispered conversation to the grinding of coffee beans, seemed to hurt my ears. My nose felt sore and the hot drink seemed to burn my throat as it went down, although I was sure it was the same temperature it always had been. The lights were too bright and a dull throb had settled behind my eyes.

I was definitely trying to catch something. A cold. The flu. The plague.

Feeling my nose twitch, I rubbed it as I walked along, trying to ignore the prickles on the skin of my neck. The same prickles that kept telling me I was being watched.

Of course I was being watched. It was the peak of the summer and I was walking around in jeans and a hoodie.

Everyone would be staring at me. The weirdo in a hoodie.

It was the only time anyone ever noticed me.

The sudden urge to turn around made me halt in my tracks. I felt someone bump into the back of me, but I kept my head down, hands in pockets, ignoring the angry muttering of the person as they rounded me. Pretty sure they called me a weirdo.

I just stood and waited for the strong feeling to subside, telling myself that there was nobody there anyway.

Goosebumps rushed along my arms and a shiver worked up my spine.

I'd been sick before. Many times in the past. But I'd never quite felt like this.

Maybe I should call in sick tonight.

I scoffed at the thought. I'd never had a sick day in all the years I'd worked with Mark. I'd always drag my ass into work, no matter what. Rarely did I take any vacation days. I had nowhere to go, even if I did.

Shaking my head, I started walking along the street again, concentrating on my steps, counting them in my head, anything to keep my mind off the odd sensation in my stomach, trying to snake its way through my body and cloud my mind.

There was no one watching me.

No one ever watched me.

I didn't matter.

I picked up the pace while sweat trickled down my back. The night time air was sticking to me.

Crowds of people flocked on the streets, enjoying a Saturday night in the city. Cars zoomed past, taking people to their next destination. Lights from stores, clubs and apartments lit up the dark city. Music from the bars lining the street filled the air, bringing a beat that seemed to match my steps.

One.

Two.

Three.

From the corner of my eye, I watched a group of guys around my age as they sauntered along the walkway together, laughing, joking, clapping each other's backs and just enjoying themselves. A twang of envy shot through my body and pierced my heart.