Hemlock Clan: What I Am

~ XXXVIII ~

Cameron

"Cameron?"

I jolted awake and shot up to a sitting position.

What the fuck?

Where am I?

Blinking a couple of times, I noticed a lamp glowing on the desk against the opposite wall, the blinds pulled over the window, and the television was muted.

Glancing to my right, I saw Rosie standing over me, clutching her purse, watching, concern written on her face, and I realised I was still in her apartment.

"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you," she said softly, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. "I just thought I'd better wake you up."

Taking a breath, I ran a hand down my face. My mouth felt as though it was full of cotton and a dull throb had taken up residence again behind my eyes.

"What time is it?" My mind refused to wake up.

"Well, it's time I was going to work."

Whipping my head back around to face Rosie, I frowned. Had I been asleep that long? I swear I had only closed my eyes for a moment.

Rubbing my face again, I stood up slowly, blinking against the soft light. Rosie was next to me in an instant, and reached out to touch my arm.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Taking a breath, I nodded at her. "Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."

She nodded, but still looked uncertain. "Okay." She motioned towards the door. "Well, I'm gonna head out. The taxi is waiting downstairs."

She hesitated, ran a hand down my cheek. "If you need anything, anything at all, you make sure to call me. Okay?"

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. The care, the love, the affection, in Rosie's eyes right now was taking my words away. I blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"See you later, Cameron." She reached up, kissed my cheek, ran a hand down my chest. "Make yourself at home. And don't forget to call me if you need me."

"Thanks, Rosie." My gratitude came out as a whisper as I fought to keep my emotions under control.

She smiled once more, before spinning on her heel, leaving the living room, the apartment, the building.

Another day, another door clicking shut.

Heaving a sigh, I slumped back down on the sofa.

My mind felt fuzzy, like it wanted to work, but couldn't. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed my mind to rest, and not to wake up and start tormenting me. I wasn't sure my heart could take any more today.

Opening my eyes again, I lay my head back against the sofa and stared at the ceiling. A crack ran from one corner of the room to the other. Not a wide crack, but a crack nonetheless.

Cracked. Broken.

That was me.

Sitting back up, I ran a hand down my face, then through my hair, almost immediately pulling the strands back down over my forehead. No one else was here, but still ...

Lifting my head, I stared at the television screen, the game show on it playing in mute. I tugged at the long sleeves of my shirt while the host gestured wildly with his hands. Then the show started to blur, darken, until different images flooded my senses, my vision, my mind. Images of Blake. Of his kisses. Of his touch. Of his words.

Tears blurred my vision once more as I recalled the feel of his body against mine, of his arms around my waist, of his lips on my skin.

Fuck.