MINE ❤.

chap4

Park Avenue.
She pulled up at her hotel entrance and looked at me.
" Thanks for the drive. Good night " She said with a smile getting down the car. I too got down.
" So? "
" So... "
" Dayafter Tomorrow is the party and Mr. Pankaj' 30th wedding anniversary, so he is throwing the party for two. " I said.
" Yaa, I've got the message " She said.
" Would you like to be my date for the night? " I finally asked.
" So, you are really asking me out? " She clucked.
" Mm.. Hmmm"
" I will...... Think about it " She said as her lips curled up in a small smile. Which said a loud yes, but she wanted to play around.
" Good night vijay" She said turning on her heel walking to the hotel. I stood  looking at her retreating figure. 
She. Is. Something.

My phone rang as I walked into my penthouse. Yeh, I own one here.
I saw the caller id, it was mom.
" Hello, mom"
" Hi vijay, how did the meeting go? " She asked.
" Yes, mom it was great " I said.
" Did you have your dinner? " She asked. Mom will be mom always!
" Yes mom, did you eat? "
" Hmm.... So when are you coming back? " She asked.
"  the proceedings need to be looked into. I need to stay here for a month atleast. " I said calmly.
" Vijay, is everything all right? Don't lie to me, iam your mom and I could sense the tension of air between you and dhara. What happened vijay? Why are you staying away from her? I know you loved her all your life. I saw how silent you turned after she was gone. But now she is here, in your life vijay. Why are you pushing her away? " She asked concern lasing in her voice.
" It's nothing mom, I.....will come back" I said trying to sound everything was good. But whom am I trying to fool around. Gayathri Rajendra Prathap Varma, or my mom.
" Don't you dare try to cover up " She said. And I felt that there was no way to hide things anymore.
" Mom, I will be truthful, I don't think me and dhara could be together. We wouldn't ever be happy. I WILL HURT HER. AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. I don't want to give you all the shitty details, but this is it mom. And plz don't force me in this , I hope you will understand. 3 months and we are on our own. " I said.
" But, you always loved her, dint you.
You call her your doll " She said in a very low voice.
" I still do mom, she is still my doll and will be my doll. She is so fragile, iam scared I might hurt her with my insecurities. That's why I wana let her go so that she will be happy, which a complicated guy like me can't give her. She deserves happiness.  " I said gulping hard. Dhara's topic always makes me weak.
" Talk to me vijay, may be I can solve it.
Or talk to dhara. Conversation is a key in relationships. Don't lose that key. Try to mend things. You can't give up without trying. " She said.
" I am afraid, my way of trying will only lead us  more scattered. It's better to leave the cracks, than to put more pressure and break it completely. The pieces can't be set together if it happens. " I said and cut the call. If mom say's another word to convince me, I will right away run back to dhara. I would be fine temporarily , and broken permanently. Can I give her another chance? Will I be able to sustain if we get seperated again? Dhara going away from me is like taking away my soul from me. I lived without a soul all these years. Later realising that, my soul was just frozen and it started melting when dhara came back. This time if she leave, it will freeze to an extent of cracking into pieces. Once I will be back with her, there is no turning back or letting her go. But with our uncertain future and the game we are playing of find the villain, death is certain. If one of us really die this time, it's game over.
Going away once was ok to handle, but coming back and going away with a certainty of no coming back again is as good as me dead.
A ping sound bought me out of my thoughts.
" Yes, I would love to be your date for the night😌." Text from radha and a small smile formed at the corner of my lips.
Radha is different. I don't know why but, I am letting her enter into my dark life. If I live, she will live with me and only me. If I die, she has to die with me. It's psychotic to think this way, but  my obsession over her is increasing with every ticking minute, much less, in a day, I turned so obsessed with her.
She is mine. She has to be mine.
Is it like I am just giving reasons for my convince. I don't want dhara to be hurt but, I want Radha in my life even if she die in my complicated life.