Shivers

Chapter 15

(Apocalypse By Cigarettes After Sex)

Punz's Pov

"She's dating this guy. His name is Jessie. It's everywhere."

There was a couple minutes of silence, I had no clue what to do.

"All those memories, they all feel gone to waste. I don't know what to do, I love her so much." The more Nick talked, the more I felt the need to pull over.

"I can't do this anymore, it's so hard without her. Everywhere i go she follows me. I need help, I can't take this. Please help me." I pulled the car over on the side of the road and got out. Both girls in the back seat held a look of confusion as I stood at the hood of my car.

"Nick. I know you love her, god, everyone loved having her around, but I think the hard truth is that she is not going to come back for a long time. I know that hurts, and I know it's gonna be hard, but you have everyone to bounce off of. You just have to let us be there." I leaned my elbows on the hood of the car as I felt myself getting upset.

"I can't be here alone. Everything reminds me of her. What should I do? How should I handle this? How did you handle it when you lost Emerald?" I look up and my eyes meet hers as she sits in the backseat of my car with a worried expression.

"I didn't. I didn't handle it."

I was so angry at her. I blocked her number and sat in my bed crying.

"I let her hold a gun to my heart and didn't expect her to shoot."

I miss her already and it's only been a week.

"There was no taking my pain away, there was only ever getting over it."

I lost my best friend. There was nobody I could call and tell them about my day.

"Nothin ever got easier but I learned how to live without her. Her smile invaded my mind everyday, her laugh that consumed my whole being."

I hated Emerald for the pain she was putting me through.

"And trust me! It's not easy. It's never easy."

My phone had no notifications anymore from her.

"I blocked her out of my life so much that she didn't exist."

Emerald Emrani did not exist to me anymore.

"I wanted her near me at all times. I couldn't live without her. Hell, i still can't." My eyes bore into her as she stares back at me. All of the memories flood into my head and cloud my mind.

Emerald was the air that I breathed, and now I was suffocating.

"I struggled for so long, but the hope that she would come back and everything would be okay, kept me going."

And when she showed up, all of those feelings came back.

"I knew as soon as I saw her I would feel all those feelings again. But it was how I handled them while she was gone."

I felt like I was breathing again.

"Emerald didn't have a clue what I was going through, but she was going through the same thing."

I felt like I had just fallen in love again.

"Harley is going through the same thing as you, Sap. We all know it. She looks miserable without you, but you cannot put your life on hold while you wait for her. Emerald was gone for four years. Harley could be gone way longer then that. But in the end Nicholas, Harley will come back to you."

"How are you so sure?"

"They always come back."

Emeralds hair cascaded down her arms, her lips were smudged red from her lipstick. Her mascara was all over her face, yet she was so beautiful. She looked more beautiful than the day she left, which I never thought was possible.

"And when they come back, you never let go, ever again."

And after all this time, I'm still in love with Emerald Emrani.

It's always gonna be you, Em. 

680 Words