Dopamine Rush

18- PAINFUL FINALE.

"Iz, I don't know what's happening. One day, okay naman tayo. Then, the next day you're not answering any of my calls. And the next thing happened, I was restricted, you're no where to be found, and I was left hanging. One month later, you're breaking up with me?" He whispered back while hugging me tighter. "Can you please tell me what's our problem?"

Itinulak ko siya palayo gamit ang natitira ko pang lakas. Pagkatapos ay tiningnan siya ng masama.

"You don't know? The problem is the thing between you and Selene. Akala mo ba hindi ko malalaman?" I replied, feeling a lot of pain in my chest. "Alam ko na ang tungkol sa inyo, Carlo. Alam ko kung paano ka tinanggap at ipinagmamalaki ng pamilya nila. Alam ko na rin kung paano mo siya alagaan, kung paano mo hawakan ang mga kamay niya, kung paano kayo nag-yakapan. Ito ba 'yong sinasabi mong huwag akong mag-alala?!"

"Iz.." He tries to utter something but no words came out. He didn't deny it, he just surrendered with guilt, while his head was low with glistening eyes.

Umiwas ako ng tingin at saka bumuntong hininga upang pigilan ang mga luhang nagbabadya na namang kumawala.

"Carlo, hindi kita iniwan nong mga panahong ka-iwan iwan ka na! Hindi ako sumuko kahit nakakapagod ka na. Nag-med school ka tapos na-set aside ako, pero wala kang narinig saakin na reklamo kasi ayoko ng dumagdag pa sa iisipin mo. Ilang beses kitang kinailangan nong mga panahon na 'yon pero kahit lagi ka na lang wala, hindi kita sinumbatan. Carlo, I suffered with you kahit deep inside, nag-s-suffer na din ako." I paused when suddenly, my voice broke. His face got blurry in my sight when tears started to pool in the corner of my eyes. "Inintindi kita, Carlo. Pinunan ko lahat ng pagkukulang mo. Sinamahan parin kita kahit naiiwan mo akong mag-isa. Tiniis ko lahat ng sakit.. kasi akala ko worth it. At higit sa lahat, pinili kong mahalin ka kahit sa mga panahong hindi ka na kamahal-mahal. Paano mo nagawa saakin 'to, Carlo? I've trusted you."

The pain in my chest is excruciating. It got me really broken, frustrated, and disappointed.

"Iz, let me explain." He said.

Lumapit siya saakin para hawakan ako ngunit agad akong lumayo sa mga hawak niya. My action hurted him but it can't compare to the pain that I am feeling right now.

Umiling ako.

I badly want to hear his truth but I'm afraid it might hurt. Natatakot ako na baka maniwala na naman ako tapos sa huli malalaman ko na kasinungalinggan lang pala ulit lahat ng maririnig ko.

"Wag mo ng dagdagan pa ang mga iniisip ko, Carlo. Mababaliw na ako." I begged. "I can't even erase the image that I've imagined in my head the moment Selene said that you two had kissed!"

Dahil sa kalasingan ay bigla akong nahilo. Agad niya naman akong sinalo. Ginamit niya ang oportunidad na iyon para makalapit at mahawakan ako. Niyakap niya ako habang patuloy lang ang pag-iyak ko. He held the back of my head, as he planted soft kisses on my forehead down my face. kissing away every tear that is streaming down my cheeks.

"Shall I erase it for you then?" He softly whispers.

I didn't get what he said until I felt his soft lips planted against my wet lips.

I opened my eyes as soon as the kiss ends. Marahil ay dahil sa kalasingan, pagod, at puyat ay biglang umikot ang paningin ko dahilan upang nawalan ulit ng balanse. Agad naman nitong inalalayan ang bewang ko. My knees gave in and my eyes refused to open. Naramdaman ko nang maingat niya akong buhatin.