mama nat one shots <3

"What was i made for.."

Y/n age: 17
Tw: self harm and suicidal thoughts
NOT NATS DAUGHTER

School had just finished for the year and the holidays were now here. I thought it would be great, getting to just relax and not be stressed, yet for some reason i had this extreme feeling of guilt. Like i had no purpose now, what was I meant to do with your time, just lay around like a waste of space? I live with avengers, they literally save the world, so what was I made for..

Usually i have things to fill in my time, whether that was school, going to the gym, going out with friends. Oh, friends, yeah don't have any of them. Nobody's contacted me since school finished and honestly I've never felt more alone.

The only 'friend', the only thing, the only option, in my mind to solve all my problems is to cut. I just can't help it, it's the one thing I can rely on.. that will never fail me.

My parent know, unfortunately thanks to the school, but what makes it worse is they don't care. Like they act like they do ok the phone call clearly, but they do nothing about it... don't talk to me, take anything away, nothing. Naturally this means I have nobody to talk to. Parents, no. Friends, no. Teachers, no now that school was over. I've never felt more alone with my thoughts. I mean I can't even go on missions yet with the avengers because I need more training and I'm 'too young' apparently. But I've been staying at the compound a lot more lately, it's nicer than at home. I'm sick of being told how annoying it is to take me places, that they wanted me to do might i add, and being called pathetic for my mental health struggles. It's much nicer at the compound, I'm mostly left alone to be honest but they give me the space I need which I respect.

A couple hours passed and I now had a training session with Natasha, but I just couldn't focus at all on fighting with her. I kept zoning out, too much on my mind, and my arm was burning making me almost regret turning to my 'friend'.

I noticed some glances from Nat, noticing I kept losing focus, which she would usually shout at new recruits for.. but she gently placed her hand on my shoulder saying "y/n is everything okay?" To which I just nodded and tried to carry on.  Towards the end I noticed some blood on my sleeve, and after hearing a loud gasp I notice Nat must've seen it too "oh my god y/n I'm so sorry was that me? Let me see" while she tried to pull my sleeve up. Honestly I was too tired to react quicker than her and once my sleeve was up she gasped again gently running her finger over my cuts. I was just showing no emotion, not wanting to be let down by another person as she pulls my sleeve back down and placed a hand on my back leading me to her room.

She directed me to sit down on the bed, while she gathered some bandages and stuff to clean my arm. We sat there in a surprisingly comfortable silence, up until she finished bandaging my arm. It was weirdly calming for me, nobody ever cared enough to clean it. She shifted to sit against the headboard patting the spot beside her for me to do the same, which I do. "Y/n, first i just need to ask do your parents know about this?", which I give a small nod to. "Okay sweetheart good, you wanna talk about anything?", I scoff at the 'good' and just shake my head, I don't want to talk to anyone about it anymore. "Alright that's okay, but just know you can come to me anytime, yeah? I'm here if you need me for anything at all, detka" I just nod again, not used to hearing things like that and go to get up to go back to my room.

Nat quickly grabs my hand, "hey I was thinking you want to have a movie night with us? I can get Wanda and we can have a girls night?" I look back at her with surprise pointing at myself as if to say 'me, really?' which she just giggles and nods "yes you, silly". I nod and smile. "Okay great babe, you want to go put some comfy pjs on and meet me back here in 10?", I nod quickly leaving the room and changing.

When I get back to Nat's room she has snacks and a movie set up and her and Wanda are sat either side of her bed, they both give me a smile and Nat pats the space between them which I cautiously settle into. "Ready?" We just hum in agreement.

It doesn't take long before I'm zoning out again, just not able to focus on anything present time. When I feel a gentle hand on my head stroking my hair I almost jump, but I manage to stop myself. I notice it was Wanda and I look over to her, almost instantly remembering she can read minds and panicking. I mean I didn't even want Nat to know about the self harm and I don't even know what I've been thinking about so what the hell could Wanda know now and omg....

The rambling in my head is abruptly stopped when Nat, who's resting against the headboard pulls me up into her arms, pushing my head to rest on her chest "Calm down baby you're okay, listen and copy my heart beat, yeah?", while Wanda continues to stroke my hair with her hand. Through this I failed to notice my sleeves coming up, probably from being pulled into Nat's arms, but before I can even panic, Wanda follows my eye line and gently holds my hand in hers kissing across the bandage and some of my older scars with genuine love in her eyes. My eyes tear up at the love I feel by these two women, who are acting a hell of a lot more like my mother than my own. But in this moment I'm just so grateful, whispering a "thank you" before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep the safest I've ever felt, managing to forget about the question of what was I made for?

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A/N oh I wish🤍- wrote this way quicker than usual and not proof read🫣 purely venting, so hope it makes some sense!Also from readers pov this time, different to my other couple so far.