Chapter 17

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May 19th, 1997; Woodsboro Hospital


I was allowed two people in the delivery room. Had things gone differently, it would've been Billy and Stu. But now, it's Christina and Sidney.

The one adopting my baby, and the one driving me to my secluded home once I'm discharged. Only her and my sister will know my whereabouts. No one else.

"Fuck!" I groaned in pain as another contraction hit. They were starting to get closer and closer together, and I was already eight centimeters dilated, so she should be here within the next hour or two.

"You've got this, baby." Billy said from the opposite side of the room. "I'll be right here with you."

"Is he here?" Sidney whispered into my hear. I nodded and sighed.

The nurses kept making me switch positions to help her move down, and each one hurt worse than the last. But it was necessary, I guess.

"Let's check again." A nurse, Morgan, said as she walked in. She put on her gloves and went to check my cervix, then gasped. "Nine and a half! I'm getting the doctor."

It's time.

"You can do this, princess. I'm right here. Just focus on me. Focus on the sound of my voice." He was now beside my bed, right next to my cousin.

The pain grew more intense and I screamed out. The girls helped me with my breathing techniques, but they weren't helping anymore.

Once the doctor came in and found I was at ten centimeters, she told me it's time to push.

"Focus on all the pent up rage you have. Use that rage to push her out. You're strong, baby. You can do this." His voice rang out. I did has he said, and used that rage to push as hard as possible.

The room was filled with screams as I pushed. In between each one, I felt like I was going to black out from the pain.

"I can't do this." I cried out.

"Yes you can." The three said in unison.

"Fuck!" I growled, needing to push again.

"Her heads out, just a few more!" The doctor called out.

I began to push harder, until I heard the cries of my baby.

Our baby.

"Samantha." Billy smiled. They placed her on my bare stomach, and both of us smiled down at her. She was beautiful, even if she was covered in goop.

After they got her cleaned up, weighed, and swaddled, they brought her back over to me. I held her tiny body in my arms and cried. This should be the best day of my life, but it isn't. It's the worst.

I have to give this beautiful child, made with love, away.

The nurses wanted to keep me overnight to watch my healing process, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't bond with the sweet little girl, it would only make the pain of giving her up worse. They tried to fight me on it, but soon gave up.

I released my parental rights to Christina, then let Sidney take me away.

I never gave her an address, just directions. Billy sat in the backseat as I cried the entire way to my new home. Sidney didn't say a word, not knowing how to console me.

Sometimes I think I would've been better off dead.

"Don't think that. If you would've died, she would've died too." Billy spoke behind me. "She'll have a better life this way."

The cabin I bought was just outside of town, but hidden enough to where no one would find me. I wanted to stay near Samantha, in case something ever happened, but I didn't want to be in the public eye. Which is where Sidney and Leslie come in.

After what felt like hours, we arrived at the cabin. I waddled my way up to it, still sore from birth, and walked inside. I made sure before moving in that I had enough locks on each doors and windows to keep even the best burglars out.

"Thanks for everything, Sid. Keep an eye on her for me." I shut the door in her face and carefully moved to my bedroom downstairs.

I was in pain, both physical and emotional. I so desperately wanted to die right then and there, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. One day, she might need me.

"I know this isn't what we planned, and I'm sorry." He spoke from beside me. I opened my eyes and saw him laying there, staring at me.

"I didn't want to give her up. Doing that was harder than losing you." I sobbed. There was nothing he could do to comfort me, considering he caused all this.

"It shouldn't have been this way. I shouldn't have done what I did. This is my fault." He admitted.

I checked in on her a handful of times throughout the years. I'd always keep my hood up and sunglasses on so no one would recognize me. The pain of leaving her was just as strong ever time I saw her as it was when I gave her up.

Billy stayed with me, day in and day out, for those twenty five years. He aged with me, somehow. I never understood it.

Deep down, I knew it was just my mind. I knew it was a way of coping with everything, and a way to make me feel less alone. Sometimes it made things better, sometimes worse. It all depended on the mood I was in.

Every few years, Sidney would call and tell me it was happening again. If Sam wasn't involved, I'd wish her luck, then hang up. I wouldn't step foot outside for weeks, just as a precaution.

But now, my daughter is involved. I will die for her I'd I have to.

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