A North Carolina Autumn

Chapter Sixty-Four

8.23.2023

A/N- hello everyone:) hopefully the cover picture added successfully, it is probably my all time favorite photo that i've taken:) I was in south carolina last week with one of my brothers and two of our cousins, and I would go on walks every evening during the sunset to get pictures and look for shark teeth. One of the days, it was looking like a storm was coming and I stopped by the ferris wheel to see if I could get any cool pictures or videos and somehow managed to get this one. this kind of picture had been my dream picture, and the fact that the ferris wheel was purple too only makes it better! I'm considering using it for the cover of Book 2, since books 1 and 3 have ferris wheels on the cover, while book 2 doesn't... lemme know what y'all think:)
I also have a couple other pictures I wanna share, but I'll add those at the end:)

This chapter is going to be a bit heavier than normal, so I'd like to add trigger warnings again just to be safe. I'll never add anything explicit or detailed as I don't want to trigger or hurt anyone who may be familiar with situations like this, but I still want the warnings just to give anyone who needs to, the option to skip over those parts.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of SA and abuse

Although my nightmares about Gabe weren't getting any less frequent, I'd been slowly learning how to either wake up from them, or change them entirely. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I can't do anything to get myself out of them, and tonight is one of those times.

As the room comes into focus, my  heart plummets. It can't be this. I can't relive this day. Everything is the same. His room, the bed, the lighting and even the smells. It's all the same as it was that day.

A noise sounds behind me and I turn quickly, finding Gabe standing in the doorway. He looks exactly the same as he did that day. His dark hair is slightly messy after removing his sweatshirt that now lays crumpled on the floor. His face is as perfect and handsome as before, not yet broken and damaged by the potato peeler, or the fists of his fellow inmates. I'm suddenly no longer in control, and things begin to play out exactly as they did that day.

Several minutes pass silently as I sit on the edge of the bed, working up the courage to say what needs to be said. "Gabe. We need to talk." I finally say, flinching as he sighs, turning to face me.

"About what? The stupid 'break'? Forget it, it's not happening."

Stop! I want to scream, desperate to stop what's coming. But I can't stop it, and I say my next line, as though reading from a script. "You don't get to decide that. If I decide I need a break from this, from us, you don't get to deny me that."

"Why the hell would you need a break? I love you, you love me, that's all that matters." Gabe says, his voice softening slightly.

"I don't know if I do..." I whisper, my chest tight with fear.

"You don't know if you what, Aspen?" Gabe's voice changes from soft to dangerously low, his eyes filling with a dark anger that I was all too familiar with.

I swallow the lump in my throat before forcing myself to continue. "I don't know if I love you anymore." I drop my head, afraid to meet his gaze.

"How is a break going to help you figure that out?" Gabe nearly growls, anger seeping into his voice.

"I don't know. All I know is that I need space. I think you could use some space, too."

"What do you mean?" He asks, stepping closer.

"You know what I mean. You get so angry at me, and nine times out of ten, you end up hurting me." I finally make eye contact with him, absentmindedly rubbing my bruised arm, the physical reminder of his anger yesterday.