It's You

Chapter 6

Gaon had finally a name to the man that felt like home and safety.

Yohan.

It didn't matter that he didn't remember the older; he had said his name was Yohan and somehow Gaon knew it to be true.

He was Yohan and he knew Gaon.

"You're safe with me, I promise."

Gaon believed him, believed blindly in those eyes brimming with power and care, believed completely in the hands holding him gently.

A weight fell from his shoulders - the fear and uncertainty that had plagued him since regaining consciousness - and with it, Gaon slumped against Yohan, head nuzzling into the crook of the other's neck as his hands held on to the brunet's seeking out comfort and trying to prevent the one giving it from disappearing.

"Yohan" he whispered softly, testing the name on his tongue. "Yohan."

"That's right, I'm Yohan."

In that moment Gaon felt safe and sound, shielded from the terrifying unknown.

Their silence was disrupted by the someone clearing his throat pointedly. Instantly, Gaon tensed, fear that someone would take Yohan away bubbling up. Hadn't the doctor said he'd call security? They'd take Yohan away and then he'd be all alone in this strange place with people he didn't know or couldn't recognise.

He felt Yohan shifting slightly but not pushing him away, instead the hand holding his drew soft, gentle circles on the back of his palm.

"What." the other snarled, and the cold anger in it calmed Gaon in a way he couldn't describe.

Yohan didn't want to let go either.

"Uhm, the doctor, sir." said Tie-guy. "He was asking some questions to see if the surgery went well when Gaon-ssi started screaming. It appears as if he has lost his memories so Doctor Lee would like to continue the check-up and then talk with us about his prognosis and the eventual treatment. Also, Miss Elijah is calling, demanding to speak with you and Gaon-ssi."

He didn't remember a Miss Elijah, but Yohan must have known her. Perhaps she was his wife and a friend of Gaon. It would make sense. Yohan was so kind, so safe; anyone would have wanted to call this man their own.

Somehow the thought of Yohan belonging to someone else - someone who had a right to the strong hands holding them, someone who had a right to be at the other end of eyes promising the world, someone who wasn't Gaon – hurt.

Yohan sighed and then he let go.

And Gaon knew he had been wrong. He had been delusional to think Yohan would want to hold on to him the same way Gaon wanted to hold on to him. It was the sign for Gaon to renounce the laughable hold he had above Yohan.

Lifting his head from where he had leaned into the crook of Yohan's neck, had enjoyed breathing in the smell of the other man – a strange taste of old books and cup ramen, he leaned back, pulling the hand that had held the older's to his chest, keeping it there to stop himself from reaching out again.

His touch wasn't wanted.

He had to respect Yohan's boundaries.

"Are you feeling well enough to continue, Gaon-ah?" Yohan asked quietly, eyeing him intensely.

Shrugging, he muttered dejectedly: "I guess."

"You don't have to if you're not feeling up to it. They'll wait and let you rest."

"No," Gaon shook his head faintly, eyes dropping down. "There's no point in pushing it off any longer. The sooner I know what's going on the better."

The sooner he knew the sooner he would have certainty that Yohan was out of reach. And he'd remember how to deal with that thought because for now, Gaon didn't. He couldn't even imagine himself being okay with Yohan gone or just a good friend - best friend with a bit of luck. He couldn't look at the other, fearing that his thoughts would be displayed on his face like an open book.