They're EVERYWHERE!

1313: 4

"What are you checking for?" Zamira steps between 'Blueblood' and the Royal Guard aiming his horn at the fake prince.

"We're under orders to use a changeling detection spell on each guest, miss."

"A lot of good that one did to you last week, didn't it?" Zamira jabs the guard in the chest.

"It's an experimental spell developed after the-"

"You're kidding, right?" Zamira scowls.

"Your Highness, could you...?" the guard looks over the smaller zebra and gives 1313 a pleading look.

"I trust my security staff completely," 1313 shows no compassion, "What's the problem, Zamira?"

"Toy soldier over here wants to use an untested, potentially harmful piece of magic on you, Your Highness."

"I can assure you it's safe-"

"Safe? Safe?!" Zamira shields 1313 with her body, "What mass, long-term study did the unicorn who devised it perform during the week since the invasion? What if it causes cancer? What if it makes stallions infertile? This is princess Celestia's nephew! Do you want to be the Royal Guard- I mean ex-Royal Guard- no, Tartarus inmate responsible for denying the princess grandnephews, DO YOU?!" she shakes her head with vigor, "You're scanning me. If you have a problem with it, go call secretary Raven. She knows I've been His Highness' escort on multiple castle events."

The guards exchange exhausted looks and the senior one takes a glance at the growing queue of guests and sighs.

"Scan her."

A quick buzz of magic later as the unicorn walks around Zamira with his horn almost brushing her coat, he nods towards his superior.

"Heh, you don't need to spend so much time on my plot. It's not as if I'm smuggling a changeling there."

"She checks out," says the scanning guard.

"Good," the leading guard bows again, "Have a pleasant evening, Your Highness."

1313 silently nods and walks through the castle's main gate, smirking to himself again as he hears a muttered 'Canterlot snobs' come from the Manehattan guard.

Without access to the hive mind, 1313 has no clue what the interior map of the castle looks like, his only guide being Zamira's briefing back in the mansion. Thankfully, she seems to know the place well and with her 'protectively' walking a step in front of 1313 they successfully make their way into a-

"A staff bathroom?" asks 1313.

"We're early. Do you want to go to the ballroom and have an in-pony chat with the princess?" Zamira hisses at him, pointing at a locked stall. Unceremoniously, she pulls him into a corner one and locks it behind herself. It's a hefty squeeze for the two of them but eventually they find a position with 1313 sitting on the closed toilet with Zamira in his lap, "Congratulations," she whispers, "Blueblood would kill to be in your position right now, minus this being the commoner bathroom."

"I wish I was able to shapeshift certain parts off right now," comments 1313.

"Oh, really?" Zamira shifts in his lap.

"Look, if you really want to have a taste of the prince without the prince, I'll oblige you back in the mansion but could you pleeease not make this worse?"

"What, is your self-control failing?" she wiggles again, "Huh, it is."

"It's unconscious! My entire conscious part is too busy contemplating that blowing up might be the merciful way after all."