🖤the cure oneshot book🖤

hold me up

The painful beating of my heart made me want to vomit. I could have never thought we could get to this point. How could we have fallen so far? The hate in your eyes made me want to shrivel up like a weed and lay dead on the floor.

Your words cut through me like a knife, you knew your words could destroy me in that moment and you took that opportunity. All the anger and jealousy you had been holding back spewed from you like word vomit.

It was not the words you were saying that hurt the most. No, you have said worse things before; but it was your voice. Your damn voice, it hurt my ears. I wanted to grab you and shake you like a doll, I wanted you to understand! I desperately wanted you to understand.

It was never about me, or you. It was never going to be about what could happen between us. I knew you felt the same, I could read you like a book. We had been friends for years now, i could simply look at your warm brown eyes and know what you were thinking,

At this moment however you were a stranger to me. I could not tell what you were thinking; i don't think you were using your brain at all really. Your hurtful words fell deaf on my ears, I could not focus long enough to let your poison seep into my wounded heart.

“I hate you robert! Bloody hell- i wish you would just drop dead like a fly!” you snarled at me. I guess you were angered by my lack of emotion. However I was swiftly knocked back into reality when you struck me with your fist.

My head snapped to the right, and pain washed over my face. I held my face with shocked eyes and looked at simon. “You hit me.” I breathed out the words like noxious gas, shocked at what Simon had done.

How did we end up in this situation anyways? I couldn’t quite remember… All I knew was that Simon was drunk. Very very drunk- and angry. He always had a bad temper about him. I did not know why he was angry though, and that made everything worse. 

“Yeah?! S-so what! I'll do it again you bastard!” Simon snarled, barely able to stand on his two feet. I felt my chest burn with sudden rage. How could he hit ME? We are best friends- we did everything together!

“Fuck you simon!” I yelled, shoving Simon in a fit of anger. I shoved him again, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand because of how obliterated he was. Simon grasped the collar of my shirt and dragged me down with him to the floor.

We landed hard on the ground, our voices yelling nonsense as we punched it out on the grimey floor of the overcrowded bar we were in. I struck Simon hard in the nose, busting it and causing warm red blood to spew down his face.

I immediately felt ashamed though, I had stooped down to Simon's level. I let him get me angry- i let him control my feelings like he always did. I didn’t get to think for a moment longer when I felt a sharp blistering pain in my head. 

Simon had busted a bottle over my head, the crazy bastard. I was shoved off of simon and laid flat on my back, vision blurry and head pounding. “Simon stop!” I heard Sara (Simon's girlfriend at the time) beg in a shrill voice.

I felt Simon's hands wrap around my throat, cutting off my air supply. I choked and grabbed Simon's wrists, unable to force any words out. “Y-you bloody poofter! I'll kill you dead- then we can see how hard you can hit!” Simon snarled, his cold eyes staring down at me.

My vision blurred, and my grip weakened on Simon's arm. I knew I would have bruises on my neck. What is the point? Mary and I’s relationship was basically over, the past months have been shit with the whole pornography thing, simon said he wanted me dead.

Maybe I should just let him? Maybe it would be better- maybe he would be happier. I let my hands fall down to my side and I closed my eyes. I felt hot tears dripping down the side of my face as Simon's grip only got tighter.