🖤the cure oneshot book🖤

delirious fights(si p.o.v)

I'm hopelessly in love.

 It's awful really, the situation itself is dreadful because the person I should be giving my attention to isn’t sara. 

It's Robert I'm in love with, hopelessly smitten id say. Everything he does makes my heart swell and stomach twist into knots. I didn’t even feel guilty about Sara, our relationship had started to fall apart anyways. The sooner I end it with her the better. 

But Robert was in love with Mary, she is who he looks at all the time. It made me so utterly jealous I had started making an ass out of myself, started trying to ignore my feelings with alcohol as well.

“You're drunk again simon! We have a show in 20 minutes and you come in here fucking drunk?!” Robert yelled at me, fed up with my childish actions. I felt sick to my stomach, the look in his eyes made my heart ache with sadness. You always used to look at me and smile, but because of my stupid fucking emotions I've pushed you away.

“Kiss my ass roberts, who cares!” I snarled at the blue eyed male, shoving him away from me. “It's all bullshit anyways- BULLSHIT!” I scream at Robert and break the empty bottle in my hand on the ground. Robert flinched at the smashing sound and stared at me in disbelief.

Dammit… i've done it again.

I clenched my jaw before turning on my heel and storming away. Robert didn’t even call my name, I don't blame him either. I run a hand through my mess of hair and walk out of the building to smoke, snagging another bottle of whiskey from some bloke on the way out. 

I sit on the ground and open the bottle, taking a long drink from it before lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag from it. I sighed and stared up at the dark sky, wanting nothing more than to just disappear. These past few weeks have been god awful… Robert and I can barely be in a room together without biting each other's heads off when really I just want to hold him in my arms and never let go.

I scratch my chin and take another drag, feeling angry tears prick my eyes. What's the point of being so upset, he doesn’t even know the half of what I'm struggling with. I don't think he should know- blissful ignorance is a wonderful thing.

I must have been out there for a long while, because the stage manager came out to fetch me. “You're on in 5.” he said before quickly leaving me be. Good lad. The world was spinning around me now, I was totally plastered but I had enough sense to stand up.

‘Just get through this show Simon, then you can drink yourself to oblivion’ I told myself and slowly started on my way back to the stage.

I spotted Robert, Roger Boris and Pearl standing by the stage. “Where is simon?” you ask while playing with your sleeve. I swallow thickly and scratch my palms with my nails. “Not sure… after that little bickering you two got into, I haven't been able to find the bloke since,” Roger said and you began to chew your nails.

I began to slowly walk up, “im here.” I called out, doing my best not to fall over as the entire band looked over to me. Robert frowned. “You’re drunk.” he stated as if he didn’t already know that.

I looked at robert and lifted my hand, flicking him off. “Yeah and so what.” i said, daring robert to give me shit, but he only frowned and walked onto stage. Roger frowned and walked with robert. 

I must be good at pissing people off, because now the whole band is fed up with me. I sighed, anger bubbling up in my chest as I followed them out, being the last one to enter the stage. I lifted my bass and put it on as Robert greeted the crowd, biting my tongue.

From there we played a normal set, playing new songs from our newest album. It was all so mundane to me, but I wouldn't complain. Rather be doing this than working in an office.