To my Dearest Friend

Stranger

We're sitting in the train going to Paris, we're both very happy to go on grand tour especially with each other. We have been in calais already but just to see some fun things there. Here in Paris we'll take up some french fencing, riding and dancing classes We're very happy, I'm more excited to see parts of Italy because I' quite familiar with France because my father has always liked it. Everything we once wished for is possible now with only the two of us. I speak to Cyril in Italian, because it's not as popular to speak in England, I tell him the things I would actually like to say in simple english but alas, the world will not allow us that pleasure of being open about our feelings. I doubt if it ever will be a possibility for people like us. Cyril fell asleep on the window or the train. He is so bloody beautiful. I softly touch a strand of his hair. He smells like citrus. I like the perfumes he wears. I look at the beautiful country of France . Could this be any more perfect. I touch Cyril's cheek and he smiles, he woke up. He opens his beautiful eyes and looks at me with a bright smile 'Sorry I was sleeping.' He says sheepishly. I smile. 'Oh wow really I thought you were dead.' He laughs and pecks me on my cheek. I'm happy we're alone in the compartment but I still do not dare to kiss my Cyril, my darling, my love. My rain. I grab his hand. 'I will always love you.' I whisper under my breath but loud enough so he hears it. 'I promise.' I look at his eyes, his eyes say the same. He takes off his signet ring. and gives it to me. I take off mine and give it to him.

I still wear his ring, We had something made for them, its a stone we put over it with our own sign weapons so people don't notice we're wearing eachother's signets but we know. It was our version of telling each other we belong to each other. I still wear it almost every day or wear something he gifted me. Every day I wear a painful reminder of my love. Every day, without exceptions. because I know deep down I wish he was still my darling my love, my rain.

Dear cyril,

I'm not a total stranger Cyril. Of course I want to continue our correspondence. I do However I will not need any apologies. Thank you for making sure I know you are still here for me. I'm sure you never meant to hurt me, but sometimes we do hurt the people we have spent time with. We won't try to fix it, we'll just carry on like we always do my dear.

So I need your advice and support. Father wants to fix our relationship but I do not know if I even want that. I need your help. I will try to put it on paper as clear as possible. So my father hits me, I know I've never really said that out loud but you need to know that to understand this. So he hit me not long ago resulting in a fractured rib and a hemopneumothorax. (I hope you know what that is because you studied medecine) Akiva saved my life. (very nice bloke, I'll tell you more later on.) so. My father almost killed me and when I came back to the Manor he was extremely nice and wanted to heal our relationship. I really want to but it still feels strange. I'm still scared of him although I love him. I don't know. Tell me what to do.

I will be coming to Paris in a few weeks. I've been getting aqueanted with akiva the last few weeks. I'm allowed to take one person because my father is sending me here for a potential business opportunity. I would like to see you my Cyril. Of course you're allowed to decline but please, I beg you. I need to see your face, even if it's only one last time. So please don't dismiss me without thinking.

I'm already thankful for your advice. I hope you're still having fun there in Paris. love you

Yves Montague