Her father died with his only wish that his daughter was to succeed academically no distractions by any means. She grew up learning to read between his complicated lines.
Poor Amina didn't want to disappoint her father. She is the perfect daughter a...
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Lana Del Rey | Say yes to Heaven
Three months and nine days ago I escaped my prison. I ran half naked through a forest terrified, to now this facade of somewhat finally being able to live comfortably in peace. The past few months my life became a true tragedy. I felt pain but like many women with trauma as experience, I got this even with tears dancing around my eyes.
I can honestly say the English countryside is one the most quiet relaxing places on earth. The fun part is feeding the baby cows, they're just to adorable. Lydia has been an amazing help, with my growing belly an all. She often times has me think back to my mother, I regret how bad I left things, it wasn't right.
All things aside, I have peace of mind that she's safe and living just fine in Brazil. Hopefully stassie is doing okay, I remember her telling me she bought a house close by the estate she's near me, I appreciate her so much it's crazy.
I have a tiny bump forming, seriously there's a life growing inside me.
"Amina! Are you day dreaming again darling?" Lydia called out smiling up at me.
"Y-yea sorry I uh blame the hormones, what were you saying?" I shook my head as I brushed Jack a black horse I grew to love.
"Doesn't matter now, but I do want to ask ya' what your plans are as far as your baby. I love having you here." A smile graced her face.
"I'm still a little lost you know in the noggin." I took a deep breathe chuckling, attempting to prevent myself from crying.
Lydia turned around to look at me, "Go on, my ears are open."
I continued, "uh I okay, we'll I've struggled my entire life not knowing who I wanted to be. I spent ninety percent of it trying to impress my dad so he can see me more even when we lived under the same roof. The other ten percent I spent angry trying to rebel against him with my ex boyfriend Archie." A mini panic attack started in my chest as I almost forgot how to breathe until Lydia wrapped her arms around me rubbing my head.
I dried my eyes wanting to finish, we sat down on the grass across from each other.
"Archie was a adrenaline junkie, he did what he want with no regard of the consequences. I was his secret girlfriend for a long time, I pretended that I didn't mind since who would want me you know. It felt great, everything did even though my parents hated it. I came close to losing myself. It hurt seeing him with other girls but I would forgive him —
... again, and again, and again, and again." My voice quietly faded as every memory of him came back to me. "That's how much I loved him but I went through all that to now know he didn't love me back." I sniffled aggressively wiping my face.
