Her father died with his only wish that his daughter was to succeed academically no distractions by any means. She grew up learning to read between his complicated lines.
Poor Amina didn't want to disappoint her father. She is the perfect daughter a...
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Lana Del Rey | Dance Till we Die
Reign Gusev is my life. It's clear that it's no longer my own. I'm still trying to soak in that I have no other option but to survive with such a possessive, psychotic, handsome, narcissistic man. I don't believe I have anymore room to cry, apart of me has already died—but who was I kidding? I wouldn't be able to control my future breakdowns, I guarantee I will soon implode.
I will never ever do anything to experience almost drowning on a table or being hung over a cliff again. Why couldn't he just let me be? I was truly terrified of Reign. Every frightening thing he promised would happen, happened!
There's a little part of me holding me back I can't fully turn away from. No matter how numb or broken I feel towards Reign, his touch triggers excitement throughout my body. I get a high off him, how dangerous he is knowing no one in the world has greater power than him.
Not a soul would dare to help me, no one. This man will become my ruin, my complete utter self destruction, and I would with open arms gladly let him.
"My little sunshine, I always dream of seeing your tiny face, being able to witness your tight baby scrunch, your little button nose, your chunky cheeks. I'm so sorry," my voice breaks, "but, your mom is in a really bad place mentally and emotionally. I can't take care of you the way I need to. I want you to know I loved you the first time I found out there's a little someone growing in there." I whispered out feeling a rain of sad emotions cloud over me.
A single tear fell to the crease of my nose, until it became uncontrollable. I stood before a mirror slowly rubbing my palms across my growing lower stomach. I've recently had flashbacks of everything that took place months ago, Tommie, my mother all of it.
One of my biggest fears was failure in disappointing my dad. I grew up somewhat a ghost in my own home, and to put the icing on the cake the only child. My mom did the best she could raising me, my dad emotionally broke her throughout their relationship, and for the last time when we found out he was in a tragic accident lead to his death during surgery.
I still remember that unforgettable night in the waiting room. They rushed him to start operating, dad had internal bleeding that erupted in his brain, for them to stop the bleeding the doctor's only option was to take parts of his frontal lobe. A human can't really live a long life without it since it controls your movements and speech. My father shortly flat lined.
Hours later we got the news my mother hyperventilated then collapsed on the floor, damaged and heartbroken for the last time. My fathers last words to me that morning were, do not disappoint me Amina, graduate college to your fullest potential— I know you have it in you.
My story changed into a completely different direction, so has my biggest fears.
With my heart beating fast through my chest, I can say I'm deeply afraid of having my baby, and eventually dying at the hands of its father.
