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Chapter 7: Breaking and entering to steal from religious people is so my jam

Defending Your Life 2

After finding a pile of red dirt where Deans phone was, Sam and Alexis headed back to the apple farm. Now, the two slipped through the door to the barn, guns raised.

Once nearing another door and hearing voices inside, Sam and Alexis pause to listen.

"Quit squirming, Mr. Winchester." Osiris says as he sat on a throne across the room. Dean sat in front of a table, tied to a chair. "They're Houdini-proof. Now, you wanna talk charges, or--?"

"I'd rather talk about your Bukowski schtick at the bar." Dean replied. "What, you can't jump a guy when he's sober?"

"You and that waitress had quite a talk, huh." Osiris pointed at him. "Then after that when you and the Mrs. had a heart to heart. Get a couple of drinks in you and the guilt comes pouring out."

"Eavesdropping. That's cute." Dean nodded.

"Speaking of." Osiris began. "You gonna skulk all night, Sam? Alexis?"

Dean glanced over his shoulder as the doors open. "Sam? Lexi?"

"Nice job finding us." Osiris compliments. "I assume you figured out who I am too?"

"A husband-stealing bitch?" Alexis suggested.

"Yeah." Sam shot her a look as the two walked further into the room.

"You wanna fill me in?" Dean glanced up at Sam.

"Osiris." Sam stated. "He's an Egyptian god."

"Ta-da." Osiris smiled as Dean rolled his eyes. "Now go about your business, Sammy."

"Look, if anyone should be on trial, it's me." Sam tells him.

"That's for me to decide. Now, go away."

"But he-he has the right to an attorney, doesn't he? Let me defend him." Sam says.

"That's unusual."

"You gonna respect his rights or not?"

"Why not?" Osiris shrugs.

"I honestly didn't think that'd work." Alexis mutters, leaning toward Sam. "You better be good at playing lawyer."

"Sam, you're not a lawyer." Dean hissed as Sam walked around the table to sit beside Dean.

"I was pre-law." Sam replied.

"Yeah, pre."

"Meaning, not there yet." Alexis added, sitting down.

"Alright, then, let's get started." Osiris began, hitting his staff against the floor. "Now, the list of witnesses I can call, endless. We could start with the Mrs. right now."

"Objection." Sam called out.

"Are you gonna let me finish my sentence?"

"No. This isn't fair."

"Huh. Fair? I'm sorry." Osiris scoffs. "Moving on. I can make it very simple. Three witnesses."

"Objection."

"Grounds?"

"Witnesses being called without prior notice." Sam states.

"Good one." Dean mutters.

"Saw that on The Good Wife." Sam replied.

"I saw that too." Alexis nodded. "Very entertaining."

"Yes. Very fine objection." Osiris shakes his head. "Denied."

"What? Why?" Sam asked.

"Because I'm the judge, son."