Geek on the Side!

Vanessa had an awkward morning

"You look like crap," said Maggie as she handed me my lunch: a salad with some water. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Oh God, yes," I said. She sat right in front of me, which was fine since there was hardly anyone else at the diner today. "So you won't believe this; I was at a friend's house last night binge watching this great show, right? Well, after the night is done, I decide to head home. Another friend of mine INSISTED that he escort me to my car, since it was so late and all."

"He?" Maggie sounded intrigued. "A gentleman?"

"Oh, honey, the very definition of a gentleman!" I said, grinning. "He's sweet, considerate, sensitive yet manly, and just between us girls, pretty easy on the eyes!"

"Oooh, he sounds like a catch!" She says, smiling.

"I'd be all over him if he were eleven years older," I said, and I noticed her smile fade a little. "He's only nineteen."

"And already he's more mature than most of the men I know, from what you're telling me," said Maggie, grinning again. "But please, go on."

"Anyway, we're walking to my car, when he suddenly pulls me away to his car," I said, and she gasped. "He saw my stalker, and so he acted quickly to get me safe."

"Jesus Christ, really!?" Maggie asked, shocked.

"Yup," I said as I took a bite of my salad. "So he takes me to his parent's place; POSH palace, girl! Posh! Anyway, I stay the night, and the next morning, I met his parents."

"And?" She asked, looking intrigued.

"Hooo boy," I said, shaking my head. "When they saw me, they FLIPPED! I legit thought they were gonna attack me or something!"

"Oh my God, why!?" She asked, shocked.

"Apparently I look just like the father's ex-wife," I said as I sipped my water. "They apologized to me, of course, but I got the hell out of there as quick as I could. I didn't even wait for Kevin to finish breakfast; I called an Uber."

"Damn," Maggie said as she gasped.

"Yeah," I said, sighing. "Poor Kevin even called me, apologizing for his parent's behavior. Kid was beyond embarrassed. I told him it was OK, though."

"Can't be easy having a guest legit run out of the house that way," she said.

"And he knows I don't blame him for what happened," I said. "And the funny thing is I don't blame them either. I mean, the way they reacted? Whoever the ex-wife was, she must have done something heinous to merit a reaction like THAT!"

"What do you think she did?" She asked.

"I dunno," I replied. "Kevin's father had this LOOK to him when he first saw me and confused me for his ex-wife; the kind of look that just screams "I'm gonna *Censored* kill you!""

"Holy crap!"

"He only had that look for a second," I quickly said. "But damn, it's gonna be engraved in my memory for the rest of my life..."

"And he apologized?"

"Almost immediately," I said, shrugging. "I said it was cool, lovely to meet you all, I'd best be going. That's when I called an Uber and got the hell out of Dodge."

"Don't blame ya," Maggie said. "Too bad about the guy, though. From how you described him, I can tell you took a shine to him."

"He's nineteen," I repeated. "I don't go for the younger guys..."

"Ah," she said, nodding. "Sure wish my idiot ex-husband had that line of thought when he cheated on me."

"What?" I gasped.

"Cheated on me with a younger girl," she said, frowning. Then she smiled. "But I'll tell you this: I cleaned that *Censored* in court. I got EVERYTHING in the divorce! Eight digits in the bank, no decimals!"

"Woo!" I said as we high fived. "So, why are you a waitress?"

"Well, I've got a son in college now," she said. "And I got bored just sitting on my butt all day, so I thought a day job would help me with that Empty Nest Syndrome."

"Wow," I said, as I continued eating my salad. "I get what you mean; I've gotten so bored lately, I've decided to get into cosplay!"

"My son told me about that!" Maggie said. "It's when girls dress up in funny costumes, yeah?"

"Guys do it too, but yeah," I replied. "I'm actually really excited to start cosplaying!"

"Nice!" She said.

"I oughta get going now, though," I said, getting up. "Thanks for listening to me, Maggie."

"My pleasure, kiddo!" She said, and that felt like a sharp knife in my vagina. Guess I won't ever get to sleep with her...

No big deal, though. I like the idea of being Maggie's friend. She's really nice and cool. No way could I turn her into one of my one night stands; I'd probably catch feelings for her. I can't have that...

I checked my phone to look at the time, and that's when I noticed the date. It's May 12th, my birthday. As of today, I am thirty. Huh...

...neat...

Thirty. I'm a homeowner, business owner, venture capitalist, former model, and OnlyFans Top point five percenter, all by age thirty. Living my best life!

My best life. Today's my birthday, and I have no one to share it with. Shoot. Is this REALLY success? Am I really happy being like this? Maybe I should hit the bar today, find someone to sleep with; that could make a decent birthday celebration.

That's when my phone began to ring; it was Kevin!

"Hello?"

"Hey," he sounded so down and defeated. "I know you said it was fine, but I still feel so bad about today, and so do my parents. I-"

"Where are you?" I asked out of the blue.

"Just getting out of class," he said. "I'm free the rest of the afternoon, so-"

"It's my birthday today," I said. "I'd REALLY like to do something today, so if you're willing to treat me to, say, dinner, I'd be more than happy to officially let bygones be bygones."

I'm lying; I've already forgiven his parents for what happened today.

Well, now I feel bad for lying!

"Nah, I'm lying," I immediately said. "Truth is, I already forgave them for what happened. I don't know what your dad's ex did to make him react like THAT to a woman who looks like her, but it musta been HEINOUS!"

"We don't really talk about it," Kevin said. "But... is it really your birthday?"

"Yup," I said. "The big three oh."

"Wow, you're thirty?" He seemed surprised. "I thought you were twenty five, at oldest."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that! This kid, I swear! He keeps saying all the right things, and doing the right things! Why, God, why couldn't he be older!?

"Can I still take you out to dinner?" He asked, and I swear it took everything in me not to go all aw on him.

"Tell you what," I said, smiling. "I'll meet you at this restaurant at around six PM tonight. Go ahead and bring a date; I'm paying."

"Come on, it's-"

"I think I've got more money than you do, kiddo," I said. "So remember: bring a date!"